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5 Common Adoption Misconceptions about Birth Mothers in Kansas

By Connor Shelton

Despite how common adoption is becoming and how accepted it is for families to adopt, there are still several misconceptions surrounding birth mothers. These misconceptions have been around for years and are so pervasive that many women question their understanding of being a birth mother. However, don’t let these lies deter you from placing a newborn up for adoptionAdoption Choices of Kansas understands that unplanned pregnancies can happen. With this comes the knowledge that birth mothers are various people with differences and nuances. Because of this reality, we can easily debunk the following common adoption misconceptions that plague our society.

Myth 1: If I consider giving a baby up for adoption, I must not love them.

Let’s start with the language. You’re not giving your baby up, nor are you giving up as a mother, far from it. Instead, your decision to place your child up for adoption is a selfless act. Choosing a specific family to raise your baby shows how much you truly love your child. Difficult as it is to make this choice, it is noble because you’re placing the child’s needs ahead of your own. There’s little which can compare to that kind of sacrifice to the point where one might call this the purest form of love.

Myth 2: Birth mothers are just irresponsible teens or troubled people struggling with addiction

Unexpected pregnancies don’t just occur for those between 15 and 21. They can happen to any sexually active woman at almost any point. And even if you are a teenager who is pregnant, that doesn’t make you irresponsible. On the contrary, if you’ve researched your options and contacted a local adoption agency, you’re showing a great amount of responsibility. Every mother who feels unable to parent her child and considers adoption deserves respect for the hard choice they’ve made.

Myth 3: Birth mothers fear their child will hate them

It’s not uncommon to see portrayals of adoptees in films as bitter and angry when they realize they’re adopted. What many fail to consider, however, is that this type of reaction is just one of many children might go through upon learning of their heritage (and an extreme one at that). Most adoptees are far more open-minded and nuanced than how movies might portray them. They might feel hurt upon first learning that they’d been given up for adoption as a baby, but this feeling won’t last. They have loving adoptive parents who will explain why their birth mother couldn’t raise them.

Myth 4: Birth Mothers will try to regain custody of their child

It’s easy to envision a scenario where the birth mother realizes that they’ve made a mistake after giving birth and get the chance to hold their baby. She’ll look into her baby’s eyes and think, “I’m not giving my baby up for adoption.” There’s a certain power and potency to this moment, but it’s not common, nor does it lead to the mother taking her child back. That’s because a birth mother has a whole pregnancy to decide what she wants. Additionally, birth mothers who choose adoption – specifically closed adoption – do so for a reason. And even if that reason does change, once the adoption paperwork has been signed, there is little one can do to regain custody of a child. They are now in the safe and loving hands of the adoptive family.

Myth 5: Adoption Agencies in Kansas are judgemental

While we cannot speak for all adoption agencies across the state, Adoption Choices of Kansas refuses to judge anyone who feels unable to parent a child. You don’t need to explain why parenting isn’t in the cards. We just want to do what’s best for you and your child. By working with one of our caseworkers, you don’t have to ask how to give a baby up for adoption. Instead, they’ll guide you through the process so you can create the adoption plan that best suits you and your child’s needs.

We at Adoption Choices of Kansas are Here to Help You Face Common Adoption Misconceptions

Always remember that choosing adoption is not giving up. If you need unplanned pregnancy help now, Adoption Choices of Kansas serves birth parents statewide and beyond. We can help with teen pregnancy, financial assistance, difficult situations, and more. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call Us 877-903-4488 or Text Us 316-209-2071  

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