5 Most Common Questions Birth Mothers Ask about Adoption
Questions are so important. They provide clarity and understanding to any situation we’re facing. Having both of these elements is especially important when you are thinking about placing your baby for adoption. There is a lot to learn about how the adoption process works in Kansas and Missouri, and the emotions you’ll experience throughout your journey.
Choosing adoption is not a simple decision and should not be taken lightly, so you’ll want to make sure to ask any and all questions you have, and address your concerns, before beginning your adoption process.
As a birth mother, you may be feeling overwhelmed by the myriad questions that you’re probably not sure where to begin. Don’t worry. Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to help! This resource lists the five most common questions birth mothers ask about adoption.
Does the birth father have to approve of the adoption?
Yes and no. To better explain, it greatly depends on the relationship you have with the birth father, and if he’s known or unknown. If he is known — if you know who the birth father is and can provide information about him — his signature is required, and he needs to sign away his parental rights in order for the adoption to become legally finalized. As an agency, we do our due diligence and try to locate him. We are required to do this by the state. If he does not come forward after the mandated amount of time, your adoption process is able to continue successfully without his signature.
If, on the other hand, your child’s birth father is unknown — meaning your pregnancy was the result of a one-night stand or sexual assault — his signature is not required. Your adoption journey may proceed without him.
Is it necessary to work with an adoption agency?
It is highly recommended! Because there are a lot of factors to placing your child for adoption, it’s best to work with a team of professionals who can walk through each step, and prepare you for what’s to come. Our agency, for instance, is here to guide and support you through every part of the adoption process. We will help you create your adoption plan, select an adoptive family and provide you with any legal or medical assistance you need. From start to finish, we will work along with you, so you don’t feel overwhelmed.
Do I have to cover all my medical costs for adoption?
No! Placing your baby for adoption is free, as is filling out the application and beginning prenatal care. Anything not covered by your insurance will be taken care of via the adoptive parents you choose. We can also provide financial assistance with court-approved expenses including rent, utilities, groceries and medical on an as-needed basis.
Can I be the one to choose the adoptive family for my child?
Absolutely! Once you’ve created your adoption plan, your caseworker will provide you with profile photo books of prospective adoptive parents for you to view. Each of these will have pictures, stories and bios, giving you a glimpse of who they are and what kind of life they could offer your child. From these, you can choose who best fits the life you want your child to have and move forward with that couple or individual.
Can I have contact with my child after the adoption?
Yes! Depending on the adoption agreement you made with the adoptive parents, you may be able to maintain contact with your child after the adoption has become legally finalized. There are three levels of openness to choose from — open, semi-open and closed adoption. Be sure to have your adoption caseworker walk you through the pros and cons of each to see what best fits what you’re looking for.
If you are wanting to build a relationship with your child’s adoptive parents, and your child themselves, we strongly encourage you to consider open adoption.
Common Questions Birth Mothers Ask about Adoption
This list is, in no way, exhaustive. There are many more questions you may have about adoption, and that’s ok. Don’t hesitate to consult with your caseworker or one of our counselors about them. Trying to make the right decision about you and your baby’s future cannot be rushed. Take your time. You are in control of the whole adoption process. We are here to help when you are ready.
Meet the Author: Gabrielle Willis is a lover of writing and knowledge, which shows in her everyday life. She graduated with a Bachelors in English in 2013, and recently graduated with a Masters in Creative Writing. She has also worked in the education sector for over 10 years, recently becoming a Literacy Tutor. At her core, her passion is reading and writing, and she loves sharing that with others.
She enjoys helping those considering adoption or going through the adoption process any way she can. This internship opportunity truly resonated with her and she hopes that her words will connect and inspire everyone who reads them.