A Birth Mother’s Guide to Creating an Adoption Plan in Kansas
Putting together an adoption plan in Kansas might be overwhelming at first, since there are so many things you need to consider as a birth mother. However, if you don’t lose sight of the big picture, you will have a sense of direction that will make it easier to navigate all the details of creating your adoption plan.
Adoption Choices of Kansas understands that creating an adoption plan tailored to your needs begins with asking yourself questions. Start with ones that explore and address big picture goals and concerns you have. This birth mother’s guide to creating an adoption plan can help you take that initial step toward a successful placement you can be proud of.
What Kind of Life Do I Want for My Child?
You chose to pursue adoption because you knew it would offer the best outcomes for you and your birth child. As you seek that better life for the child, think about what you wish you could offer him or her, but are not able to do so. Are you not financially capable of supporting a child and yourself? Is your living situation not safe to bring a baby into? Are you single or with an unsupportive partner, and thus, not in a position to bear the burden of parenthood on your own? Do you have mental or physical health needs that will make parenthood impractical?
As you decide what you are looking for in an adoptive family while creating your adoption plan, you can ask yourself questions like these to help guide you in figuring out what qualities you need in an adoptive family. This can help you determine what qualities are most important to you. It also helps you not lose sight of why you chose adoption in the first place, if you ever find yourself in doubt or overwhelmed by all the steps involved in the adoption process.
What Kind of Life Do I Want as a Birth Mother?
One of the most important things to include in your adoption plan is whether you want an open, semi-open, or closed adoption. When deciding which type of adoption to pursue, try envisioning your life as a birth mother under the three different adoption scenarios. Consider the advantages and disadvantages of each, and determine which tradeoffs you are most willing to live with. Since you won’t know exactly how each scenario will play out, it may be helpful for you to reach out to other birth mothers and learn from their experiences. You can always discuss these options in-depth with an adoption counselor at Adoption Choices of Kansas if you are feeling torn about what path is best for you.
How Much Outside Input Should I Consider for My Adoption Plan?
Obtaining input from someone who may have a different perspective from you, but is invested in your wellbeing, can be a valuable asset as you create your adoption plan. As you come up with ideas for your adoption plan, having someone such as a parent, friend, adoption counselor, or member from a birth mother support group can help you see a wider range of potential pros and cons of the different options you’re considering. The more information you have, the better you will feel about your decision.
As valuable as outside input is when you’re creating your adoption plan, you want to make sure that you are staying focused on the goals you want to achieve as a birth mother. Even if someone has the best intentions, they may not fully understand why you are making certain choices. Thus, they might try to dissuade you from going a particular route. You can still take their input into consideration, but don’t feel pressured into placing an undue amount of weight on one person’s opinion. It can be reassuring or enlightening to get a second, third, or fourth opinion if you aren’t sure about something. The key is finding balance between being open to valid concerns or recommendations from others while knowing where to draw the line.
How Much Should I Plan Ahead for My Hospital Stay?
You would be surprised how much planning goes into giving birth and recovering in a hospital. From major decisions, such as whether to have an epidural, to seemingly small choices, such as playing soothing background noises while you’re in labor, being able to predict how your hospital stay will play out can relieve much of the anxiety when the time finally comes to deliver. Taking control of this key turning point in your adoption journey can bring some reassurance and stability to what feels like a chaotic event. With that in mind, don’t feel like you are overthinking your hospital stay. Nothing you plan for your hospital stay is petty, since even the small things can make a difference during your childbirth and recovery experience.
Is There Anything to Plan for Post Placement?
Your adoption journey doesn’t end when you leave the hospital. You have the rest of your life to look forward to as a birth mother, including both the joys and sorrows. As you make long-term plans for you and your child as part of your official adoption plan, don’t forget to prepare for your needs immediately after relinquishing the child to his or her adoptive family. For you, this could mean seeking out emotional support counseling or birth mother support groups to help you get through the grieving process. You might also want to learn the signs of Postpartum Depression and prepare for it just in case, as it can exacerbate the grief you already feel after letting go of a child. Remember that even after placement, you can continue to reach out to Adoption Choices of Kansas for free counseling as you transition to this new stage of your life.
Ready to Create Your Adoption Plan in Kansas?
When you ask yourself the big picture questions like the ones provided in this birth mother’s guide to creating an adoption plan, the details of your adoption plan will follow naturally. Remember that you are in control of your adoption plan. If you feel that some of the details conflict with your objectives, you have every right to change them up until you relinquish the child. Your adoption plan is your vision. This means that you get to decide the design and execution of each element of that vision.
If you are a birth mother in Kansas, and you need help creating your adoption plan, Adoption Choices of Kansas will work with you and provide you with the resources you need to make an adoption plan that aligns with your goals as a birth mother.
Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.
Mary finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.