A Guide for Adoptees in Kansas: Ways to Celebrate Mom and Birth Mom in May
Everyone knows a mother’s love is unequivocal and unmatched. If you’re an adoptee, you probably know this better than anyone. Adoptees get to experience a mother’s love uniquely—the love from your mother and your birth mother. As adoptees, it can be hard to fathom what a birth mother goes through when placing her baby up for adoption—likewise, the overwhelming joy of hopeful adoptive parents being allowed to have a family. You want to show how much you love them both, in ways that differ and are the same but equally returned.
If you’re racking your brain on how you could possibly do justice to the person who gave you life andthe person who raised you, Adoption Choices of Kansas is here for you. We know you want to show your love, support, and gratitude for the countless sacrifices the moms in your life have made. You know your moms better than anyone, but we’ve got a few ideas to celebrate mom and birth momfor you to show you care.
Mother’s Day and Birth Mother’s Day
You probably already know all about Mother’s Day. The holiday is marked in calendars, stores fill with mom-themed merchandise, and jewelry commercials urging you to show mom how much you care with diamonds. What you might not know is birth mothers have their own day as well. Birth Mother’s Day was established by a group of women in Seattle, Washington, in 1990. It was meant to serve as a day for birth mothers to support and honor each other as emotional preparation before Mothers Day. Just as adoption has evolved and changed over the years, how we celebrate and observe Birth Mother’s day has changed. It’s now an opportunity for adoptive parents and adoptees to show their gratitude and appreciation.
Ways to Celebrate Mom and Birth Momin May
Flowers, a card, and a framed photo of the two of you are fine gifts. But you want to get creative and show you care. When it comes to moms, it really is the thought that counts. You may be surprised at what you can come up with if you’re willing to get a bit creative—no need to break out the hot glue gun and glitter.
- Try not to Bundle
Just as no kid who has a birthday close to Christmas wants their gifts bundled into one holiday, a distinction should be made between celebrating Mother’s Day and Birth Mother’s Day. Each is important in its own way and deserves individual attention. Use those unique individualities to personalize gifts or gestures.
- Experiences over Gifts
When it comes to family, and especially mothers, quality time wins every time. If your type of adoption allows, plan for one-on-one time. Treat her to her favorite meal or favorite activity. Showing interest and willingness to spend quality time together means more than any gift ever could.
- From the Heart, not the Wallet
In a sometimes over-commercialized and consumerism capitalized world, holidays can feel more like obligations. Remember what the day represents. A handwritten letter, photo album, or even just a meaningful conversation is priceless.
- Honor Them
In many cases, you may not be able to be with your mom or birth mom. In place of traditional celebrations, you can plant some flowers in her honor, or even just buy a lovely bouquet you think she would have liked. In times when you can’t be together, little reminders of her can be a comfort.
Try not to stress too much about gifts and such. Birth mothers only want to be appreciated as mothers are. Even if it’s just a phone or video call, reaching out to let them know you’re thinking of them will mean more than you know. You don’t have to buy diamonds or throw a big party to celebrate mom and birth mom.It’s the little touches. Remembering her favorite flower, saying I love you, or just letting her know you appreciate her. Moms and birth moms are different, but they’re still mothers.
Celebrating Mom and Birth Mom
Their role in your life may be vastly different, but you wouldn’t be where you are and who you are without them. Being an adoptee comes with a lot of challenges, but it also comes with unconditional love from your mother and birth mother. By celebrating or even just observing both Mother’s Day and Birth Mother’s Day, you’re helping to put adoption into a more positive light. At Adoption Choices of Kansas, we want to help spread positivity for the adoption community. As an adoptee, you have a tremendous opportunity to show that birth mothers deserve to be honored, respected, and celebrated.
Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years’ experience as a freelance writer, and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games.
As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”