An Overview of Adoption for Birth Mothers
Discovering you are pregnant is a life-changing event that can be daunting if it is unplanned, and if you don’t feel ready to be a parent. Though this can be a stressful time for you, know that you have options, and that it’s possible to find a path that leads to an optimistic future. One of the options you have is pursuing adoption. The great thing about adoption is that there is no singular approach to it, which allows you to tailor it to your specific needs and wants.
If you are interested in pursuing adoption, and you want to learn more about the process, Adoption Choices of Kansas has provided this general overview of adoption for birth mothers and what you can expect from it and when you place your baby for adoption.
You Control the Adoption Process from Start to Finish
A key thing to keep in mind throughout your adoption journey in Kansas is that you are in complete control of the process. Gone are the days when a woman who has chosen adoption is forced to relinquish the baby to complete strangers immediately after delivery without ever seeing or hearing from the child again. So, if you are in any way hesitant about following through with adoption for fear of being permanently separated from the child, you can put those fears to rest. There are so many ways to customize the terms of your adoption with an accommodating adoptive family so that your interests are not forgotten.
Of the many decisions that you get to make for your adoption, one of the most important things you need to choose is the type of adoption you want to pursue. There are three types of adoption you get to pick from: open adoption, semi-open adoption, and closed adoption. Open adoption entails working directly with the prospective adoptive parents and maintaining contact with them and the child post placement. In semi-open adoptions, the contact between you and the adoptive family post placement is more minimal than in open adoptions, but the potential to reconnect in the future still exists. Finally, you could opt for a closed adoption in which there is no contact between you and the adoptive family post placement. The wide range of contact with the adoptive family gives you the flexibility you need so that your interests are respected.
Another important decision that you have control over is the family in which the baby will be placed. In the early stages of the matching process, you’ll want to carefully think about what you want to see in an adoptive family. For example, consider the adoptive parents’ values, parenting styles, financial situation, and other characteristics you prefer to see in a family. When you have a good idea of what you want, that’s when Adoption Choices of Kansas steps in to help you find the family that will be the right fit for the child. One way we assist you at this stage is by providing you with detailed profiles of prospective families for you to choose from, which can also give you additional ideas of what you want in a family.
Your Adoption Journey is a Team Effort
Know that while your adoption journey might feel like a burden at times, know that you don’t have to carry all the weight on your own when you have a strong support system behind you. Your adoption specialist will make sure that you are well informed every step of the way, so you can feel confident in the decisions you make. Keeping your friends and family close during this difficult time will also give you a sense of comfort and stability. You may also want to include an emotional support counselor in your support network to help guide you if you find yourself struggling throughout your adoption journey.
When you collaborate with the prospective family to follow through with the adoption, you are essentially working as a team with them. Communication is key between you to make sure you’re on the same page and have a shared vision of the child’s future. When you work effectively as a team, that can bring you a sense of reassurance about choosing them to raise the baby. The relationship you develop with them is a beautiful model of selfless giving: they are giving the child a loving home while you are giving them the opportunity to nurture life.
Be Prepared for the Challenges and Welcome the Benefits of Adoption
While adoption can provide you with the opportunity to get back on your feet, your life won’t be the same, and it might be difficult to return to the life you knew. You may go through a period of grieving for your lost motherhood. You might even second guess your choice from time to time which can lead to anxiety and depression. At times, it can feel lonely especially if you don’t know anyone like you who has been through the adoption process.
Despite the challenges that come with adoption, it can also be a very rewarding experience. When you choose a family that you trust will provide their child with an environment that will help them reach their full potential, that can be comforting in and of itself. It’s also satisfying to know that you changed that family’s life for the better through the gift of a child. If you opt for an open adoption, you can even look forward to reuniting with that child and see for yourself how they are thriving because of your loving choice.
If you found this overview of adoption for birth mothers to be helpful, and you want to learn more about the adoption process, Adoption Choices of Kansas can answer any questions you have and provide you with the resources you need to have a successful adoption story.
Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.
Mary finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.