Can You Change Your Mind about Adoption? Feeling Uncertain about Adoption
Adoption can be a rough journey, and you might feel that your emotions or pressures or the situation weren’t ideal for thinking clearly and making a decision. It can be hard to process everything and fully understand what might be best. It’s natural as a birth mother to think of all the what if’s. It’s important that when you choose adoption, you know it’s what is best for you and your baby. Even so, you may have a change in heart or mind about adoption.
Adoption Choices of Kansas wants you to feel confident in your choices and give you everything you need to make informed decisions. We’re here for you 24/7 for support and to answer any questions you may have. We work with hundreds of women every year from different walks of life. Adoption is a big decision to make, and you don’t have to make it alone. If you’re wondering if you can change your mind about adoption, or if you should, maybe we can help shed some light.
Reasons You Might Change Your Mind about Adoption
There are a lot of reasons you may be having second-guesses about choosing adoption. There are a lot of feelings that birth mothers go through in the adoption process, and even more, are around the corner post placement. You could be having feelings of anger, sadness, or general uneasiness. Whatever you feel is valid, and we guarantee other women in your position have felt the same way. These are some common reasons you may be feeling like you want to change your mind about adoption.
- You Have Regrets
Regret is a normal feeling birth mothers deal with after adoption. You can run through every situation in your head a million times and how you’d do things differently, but you can’t change the past. Seeing your baby happy and thriving with another family is usually a joyous feeling, but can also be a source of regret for not being able to raise your baby. If you chose to place your baby up for adoption, trust in your own decisions and know that only you know best.
You could be having regrets about the type of adoption you chose as well. Maybe you initially thought that a closed adoption was for the best, but now you’re not so sure. Talk with your birth parent counselor and determine if you can still change the type of adoption.
- Pressure from Family
Many women deal with pressure from family, loved ones, or partners during the adoption journey. Adopting is much more common in this modern age, but not everyone is aware of the prevalence or grew up without exposure to it. It may be hard for some people to understand your decision entirely, and you may face push back. Again, trust in your choices as a mother who knows what’s best for her child and don’t let others influence you.
Maybe even after all the hours of research, googling, and reading articles, you still aren’t 100% positive that this is the best option for you. If you’re having a lot of doubt and hesitations, don’t worry. We’re here to answer all of your questions and make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into. Choosing adoption is hard, and it’s okay to feel unsure.
Can I Reopen a Closed Adoption?
Before papers are signed, you could still change your mind about the type of adoption you want.
This, of course, all depends on if you’ve picked out an adoptive family yet and if an adoption type has been agreed on yet. In a closed adoption, typically, files are physically closed and cannot be opened. Even if the files are open, the amount of access and the process to access information varies from state to state,
If I’ve Decided Against Adoption, Can I Change My Mind?
If you had previously decided against adoption, you could still choose adoption. It’s not too late. At any point in your pregnancy, and even if you’ve given birth, you can decide to put your baby up for adoption, choose an adoptive family, and complete the adoption journey. The adoption process can look different for everyone. If you’ve decided that parenting just isn’t for you, contact us, and we’ll walk you through every step. You are not alone, and you do have options.
If you’ve given birth and can’t or do not want to go through the full adoption process, Adoption Choices of Kansas is a designated Baby Safe Haven location. You can leave your baby with us to receive medical treatment and be placed with a loving adoptive family as soon as possible. You can remain completely anonymous if you choose.
Can You Change Your Mind About Adoption?
It all depends on where you are in the adoption process. Once the release papers are signed, there’s no turning back. Before then, you can change your mind as much as you want, not that we recommend that. Choosing adoption is tough, and it’s okay to second guess yourself and question whether you made the right decisions. Talk with your birth parent counselor and see what your options are. Unfortunately, once you release your parental rights, there’s not really anything that can be done. The good news is, you probably have nine-plus months to make pro and con lists, read every article about adoption, and ask as many questions as you want. You should feel good about your decision, but if you’re still uncertain, that’s okay! We’re here for you to find options for you and provide support and emotional counseling to get you through post placement.
Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years’ experience as a freelance writer, and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games.
As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?