Celebrating Father’s Day and Birth Father’s Day
As a pregnant birth mother, it may be overwhelming to know that a child is on the way if you have an unexpected pregnancy. There may be many factors in your life that cause uneasiness surrounding an unexpected pregnancy, especially when it comes to a lack of support and help from loved ones or a partner. Some expectant mothers have a partner in the picture, while others don’t. Not having a partner in the picture isn’t the sole reason birth mothers may consider adoption. Even if there is a birth father present, it may still be agreed upon between both partners that a child is not what they are ready for, and that’s when giving your baby up for adoption may be considered as an unplanned pregnancy option. Celebrating Father’s Day may not be an option in a closed adoption if there is no contact with your child. However, it may be an option in an open adoption. Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to give tips on how to celebrate Father’s Day and birth Father’s Day in a Kansas Adoption.
Celebrating Father’s Day in an Open Adoption
Even if you and the birth father are considering entering into the adoption process, you may both still feel a significant attachment to your child. Father’s Day may bring about feelings for the birth father, and he may want to celebrate it. Here are a few tips on how to celebrate Father’s Day in Kansas open Adoption.
- Give Space for Your Child and the Birth Father
If you choose to go with an open adoption where you and the birth father will still maintain contact with your child, you may want to give space for your child to celebrate it with just their birth father on this day. This will allow for the birth father and his child to have quality time and make plans together to allow one another to get to know each other in an intimate way. Because your child will mostly be with their adoptive family, they may not have much quality time with just their birth father, so this day is a good opportunity to fulfill that.
- Celebrate as a Family
Another option you may desire is to celebrate Father’s Day as a family with your child and their birth father. Depending on the type of relationship you have with your child’s birth father, you may want to have a day where you can enjoy the pleasure of feeling like a family without compromising your desires in life and the responsibility that comes with having a child. This day can be a special day for everyone as it is a reason to get together and spend quality time together.
- Give Space for the Adoptive Father to Celebrate
Because this is an open adoption, you will be in contact with your child’s adoptive family. It is important to practice open communication during this day and give space for your child to also spend Father’s Day with their adoptive father. You may want to communicate your schedules with your child’s adoptive family so your schedules don’t conflict and you can all have a day to celebrate.
- Celebrating Father’s Day as a Single Birth Mother
During Father’s Day as a single birth mother, you may feel guilty if your child’s birth father is not in the picture, while you still are if you pursue an open adoption. This may make you feel as if you want to fill that role for your child and have them celebrate with you as their biological mother since they can’t celebrate it with their birth father, so they can still feel a sense of closeness to their roots on this day. Here are some tips to compromise how to celebrate Father’s Day as a single birth mother.
- Celebrate with the Adoptive Family
Even though this day is intended to celebrate fathers, it is still about family coming together and sharing memories. If you are a single birth mother and your child’s birth father is not present, you may want to celebrate with your child’s birth family if this is something they would be okay with. Talk to them beforehand and bring up the idea if this is something you desire so that your child’s adoptive family can make arrangements for the day if they decide to include you. If they decide they want quality time with your child without you included, this is perfectly okay too. Make sure to practice empathy and understanding of all scenarios, respecting all boundaries set in place.
Spending Time with Your Child During an Open Adoption
Whatever unique scenario you may be in, whether you are a single birth mother or not, family time is always precious. Family can come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, as it is not always conventional. Whether you celebrate with your child alone, with your child’s birth father, or with your child’s adoptive family, this day is special and only comes around once a year, so be sure to enjoy the memories it brings.
Adoption Choices of Kansas is always here to offer you advice and support in whatever scenario you are in, so feel free to reach out if you have any more questions or wanted advice!
Meet the Author: Tatiana Kelly is a graduate of Saint Mary’s College of California, where she completed a degree in Business with a concentration in Marketing. She first discovered her passion for journalism in high school when she joined Yearbook, allowing her to interview others and learn their intricacies, ultimately giving them a voice. Her empathetic nature motivates her to write about others and be interested in the details of each individual and their story. Tatiana’s passion for writing deepened when she took a college journalism class which allowed her to write various types of content consisting of Feature Story, Review, and Profile pieces. She went on to hone her writing and marketing skills through her position as a Marketing Associate at the Lesher Arts Center in Walnut Creek, CA, where she managed social media content and advertising assets. In her free time, Tatiana enjoys writing poetry and her thoughts about philosophy. She explores her creative and musical side through instruments, singing, and nature.