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Choosing Adoption When the Birth Father is Abusive or Violent 

By: Wendy Swisher

No person should endure abuse or violence from another person, no matter the circumstances. Let alone be pregnant and stuck in an abusive or violent relationship. Waking up and fearing what today might bring is scary. Finding out you are pregnant will make your anxiety levels skyrocket. You know you do not want your child to live the fear and pain you have been enduring every day. Adoption may be the right choice for your situation. This way, your baby has a chance at a loving and caring home.

Your Safety as a Birth Mother

The most important thing is to get you to safety. Most cities and states have battered women shelters. These are places that will take a mother and her children who have faced domestic abuse or violence in their home. They will ensure your safety from your abuser. These become a necessity when you have been cut off from family and friends and have nowhere else to go. There is also a national domestic abuse hotline that is available. Call right away, and they can help you come in contact with shelters near you.

 National Domestic Violence Hotline and Chat Line: 800-799-SAFE (7233)

Weighing Your Options When Choosing Adoption

 After you are in a safe place, you can take a step back and weigh your options. In your situation, Wichita adoptiomay be the best option for you. We know giving a baby up for adoptiois not an easy decision. You have been through so much stress and anxiety. Abuse is not limited to only physical but also emotional and mental. So you may not be in the right headspace to raise a child right now. You will need extensive counseling to help you heal and become whole again. Adoption gives you a chance to do just that. To focus on you. Putting a child up for adoptiodoes not make you a bad person, and it is ok to feel happy about your decision. The only thing that matters is you are putting the needs of yourself and your baby first.

Choosing Adoption for Your Baby

Once you have decided on adoption, there are many options available for adoption agencies in Kansas. Finding an agency that will meet your needs helps you create an adoption plan that is best for you. At Adoption Choices of Kansas, we treat our birth mothers with respect and dignity. We will be there every step of the way through your adoption journey. The first step is to give our agency a call. One of our adoption specialists will set up an initial meeting to learn about your circumstances and help you through the adoption process, where you decide the important decision; what type of adoption you want, what family will adopt your baby, and a birth plan.

There are three levels of adoption: open, semi-open, and closed. The contact level depends on you. Choosing the family who gets to love your baby is a special process. You get to handpick them. Our adoption specialist can connect you with any services you need, whether financial, medical, counseling, or legal. We are here to make your adoption journey special.

Dealing with the Birth Father

 Many women do not want to bring up adoption to the birth father. They are afraid of what he will say or if he will retaliate and try to harm them. Adoption Choices of Kansawill help you in any way we can with this situation. The first thing is to determine where the birth father’s consent is needed in an abusive or violent situation. This is different for each state. We will first need to find out whether the birth father has been established legally as the father. One way he could have established himself as the birth father is to sign the birth certificate. Another is if he has

Had a DNA test done? The best way to navigate this situation is for your adoption specialist to get you into contact with a legal adoption attorney. The adoption attorney will know exactly what steps will need to be taken in order to proceed with an adoption. They can also help you determine whether the father needs to give his consent.

Choosing Adoption is Not Giving Up

 If you are dealing with abuse and violence in your relationship and are considering adoption, call us today. Choosing adoption is not giving up. If you need unplanned pregnancy helnow, Adoption Choices of Kansaserves birth parents statewide and beyond. We can help with teen pregnancyfinancial assistance, difficult situations, and more. 

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