Closed Adoption Pros and Cons to consider as a pregnant woman in Kansas
Having an unplanned pregnancy can be stressful and frightening. There are not only changes happening in your body during this time, but changes that will happen in your life as well. You may feel confused and conflicted about what you feel like you should do in this situation, and are considering adoption. Even though adoption is an option, you still may feel conflicted about what that entails for your life moving forward while still bringing a child in the world. Just know that you have many options to create the optimal life you envision, and Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to help you achieve that.
Closed Adoption is one of those options, and we are here to offer you some advice on thepros and cons to consider in a closed adoption.
What is Closed Adoption?
There are many types of adoption options you may have as a pregnant woman, and closed adoption is one of them. A closed adoption means that there is no contact whatsoever between the birth mother and her child after the adoption has been finalized. In other types of adoptions such as semi-open and open adoption, the birth mother may have some sort of contact with her child and the adoptive family, and even be able to choose the adoptive family. However, in a closed adoption, the birth mother will not even have contact with the adoptive family nor be able to choose them for her child.
A closed adoption may be something you are interested in depending on the type of adoption experience and life you envision for yourself. There can be both positives and negatives to a closed adoption, and Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to offer you several pros and cons to consider if you are thinking of having a closed adoption.
Cons of Closed Adoption
Though closed adoption can have many positives depending on what you want out of your adoption experience and beyond, there may be some downsides as well. Here are several cons that may come with a closed adoption.
- Loss of Relationship with Your Child
You will be unable to maintain contact with your child and have an ongoing relationship with them. This causes a loss of relationship that you could have otherwise had in an open adoption or even a semi-open adoption. You will be unable to see your child grow up and develop throughout their life, and miss out on their life events that will shape them. Through the loss of relationship, you will also be unable to teach your child some of your values or knowledge that may connect them to their roots if they had the possibility of meeting you and knowing you throughout their life.
- Increased Grief
The grieving process in an adoption is hard as it is, even if you are pursuing an open adoption. There will always be a sense of loss while giving your child up for adoption, and you will inevitably go through a time of mourning that loss. However, in a closed adoption, that mourning period may be even more intense. You may experience increased grief through a closed adoption, knowing that once the adoption is finalized, you will part ways with your child and be absent in their life. This initial knowledge may be harder for you to process and cope with, as there may seem to be no silver lining to soften the hurt of parting ways with your child.
- Feelings of Guilt
Along with feelings of grief being intensified, feelings of guilt may also be intensified in a closed adoption. Feeling guilty about giving your child up for adoption can be a common feeling among birth mothers, however this feeling may be even stronger in a closed adoption. You may feel as if having a closed adoption will affect your child negatively, as they will not get to know you and have you present in their life. You may feel as if this will make them feel unwanted or abandoned through the lack of relationship a closed adoption entails.
Pros of Closed Adoption
Throughout the several negatives stated that can come with a closed adoption, you may see several positives despite the grief you may feel. There can be many feelings of freedom and peace that can come with a closed adoption. Here are several pros of a closed adoption that you may desire.
- Increased Privacy for You
Because you will have no contact with the adoptive family or your child, there will be an increased sense of privacy for you. This may be something you desire depending on your circumstances, such as lack of support from family or even simply the desire to maintain privacy in your life. If you are not ready to have a child, it can feel overwhelming to still feel as if you may be contacted by your child and adoptive family, and a closed adoption will prevent that from happening.
- Less Obligation and Responsibility
Less obligation and responsibility also comes with a closed adoption when feeling overwhelmed about the thought of being contacted by your child and the adoptive family. You won’t have to feel responsible for maintaining a relationship and contact as your child grows up as you would with other types of adoptions. This can offer a sense of relief and peace if this is not something you are ready for and envision for your life. It can allow you to focus on yourself without the pressure to be an important figure in your child’s life.
- Hope for Your Future
Having a closed adoption can offer you more hope for your future. Having a child is one of the biggest responsibilities there is in life, and even more so if you are unprepared with an unplanned pregnancy. You may have to put your own life and future plans on hold if you have a child, and though adoption alleviates some of that, you may still have a certain role to uphold if you choose an open or semi-open adoption. With a closed adoption, you will be able to continue your life and future plans as you would if you didn’t have a child. There will be no role you have to fulfill as the adoptive family will fill that role, and this can be positive and hopeful for your future.
Is Closed Adoption the Right Adoption Option for You?
Through both the pros and cons of a closed adoption, you can weigh each of them and see which you desire the most for your life. There will be challenges in any choice you make, but what matters is what feels the most worth it for you. A closed adoption may not be for everyone, but if this is something you desire, it can fulfill the aspirations and goals you have for your life as you put them first.
At Adoption Choices of Kansas, we aspire to make you feel comfortable and supported throughout your adoption journey. We have many resources available to help you make a decision on what you want your adoption journey to look like, so please don’t hesitate to reach out and let us guide you through this time.
Meet the Author: Tatiana Kelly is a graduate of Saint Mary’s College of California where she pursued a degree in Business with a concentration in Marketing. She first discovered her passion for journalism in high school when she joined Yearbook, allowing her to interview others and learn their intricacies, ultimately giving them a voice. Her empathetic nature motivates her to write about others and be interested in details of each individual and their story.
Tatiana’s passion for writing deepened when she took a college journalism class, which allowed her to write various types of content consisting of Feature Story, Review, and Profile pieces. She went on to hone her writing and marketing skills through her position as a Marketing Associate at the Lesher Arts Center in Walnut Creek, CA, where she managed social media content and advertising assets. In her free time, Tatiana enjoys writing poetry and her thoughts about philosophy. She explores her creative and musical side through instruments, singing, and nature.