Considering Adoption When You Don’t Want the Baby
When you’re a young woman at the beginning of your adult life, the possibilities seem endless, and you look to the future with optimism. Discovering you’re pregnant during this time — especially when you’re not ready to be a parent — can be an overwhelming experience that can make it seem like doors that were previously open to you are now closed. You may experience feelings of regret, shame, and anxiety coming from external sources and from within. However, you do have options, and you don’t have to be alone when facing this life-changing event. Your future is still bright, and there’s still plenty of time for a new beginning.
One of the options you can pursue is adoption. Adoption relieves you from the responsibility of raising a child you are not in a position to take care of, and it gives you the opportunity to get back on your feet so you can continue to live your life. Though adoption is not without its challenges, it can also be very rewarding for you, the child, and the adoptive family eager to nurture a new life.
If you are a pregnant woman in Kansas, and you don’t want the baby and are considering adoption, Adoption Choices of Kansas can guide you toward the path that’s right for you. Here are some initial steps you can take to get started on your adoption journey:
Find a Doctor
One of the first things you need to do when you suspect or discover that you are pregnant is to find an OB/GYN you are comfortable with and can trust to accommodate your needs. This means finding a doctor who is eager to answer any questions you have and will not dismiss any of your concerns. Perhaps you already have a gynecologist who you are satisfied with and want to continue seeing during your pregnancy. You can also ask your general practitioner to refer you to an OB/GYN, or you can consider asking family or friends for recommendations.
Explore Your Adoption Options
During this period of crisis, it may not be clear as to which path is right for you. It’s important for you to explore your options and discuss your concerns with an empathetic person in a safe and non-judgemental environment. We can provide that for you at Adoption Choices of Kansas as it is part of our mission to guide, support, and empower women facing unplanned pregnancy. Whether you simply want to learn more about the adoption process or you are ready to begin your adoption journey, we will help you reach your destination.
When you reach out to us for an initial inquiry, we are well-equipped to answer your questions. We will also provide you with an overview of what you can expect during the adoption process as well as the steps you will need to take along the way. You will have the opportunity to learn more about the different types of adoption you can pursue. If you wish to have no contact with the adoptive family after placement or even before placement, closed adoption might be the right choice for you. On the other hand, you may decide that you want to play an active role in the lives of the child and the adoptive family after placement which can be achieved through an open adoption. If you want more limited contact with the child and adoptive family without being permanently separated from them, you can opt for a semi-open adoption.
Seek Out any Adoption Assistance You Need
The adoption process can be difficult enough to go through without any of the other daily stressors of life. Additional hardships such as financial troubles, difficulty accessing healthy food and medical care, and not being able to afford safe housing can exacerbate any stress you already have during your pregnancy. However, when you work with Adoption Choices of Kansas, we can help you get the assistance you need while you’re on your adoption journey so you can focus on getting through your pregnancy and not have to worry about your basic needs.
Reach out for Emotional Support
Even when you are completely sure that you don’t want to raise the baby you’re carrying, it can still be difficult to anticipate the separation from that baby in the coming months. You did not want to be in this position in the first place, and you may be experiencing intense feelings of grief not only for the loss of the child, but also for the life you were previously living.
When finding ways to cope with your situation on your own isn’t enough to get you through this difficult time, consider reaching out to others for emotional support. Whether you seek that support out through a professional counselor, a support group, or your friends and family, having external sources of insight can allow you to view your situation through a different perspective. It also serves as an important reminder that you don’t have to carry this burden alone.
Take Control of the Adoption Process
When you choose adoption, you are in complete control of the process every step of the way. You choose the type of adoption, the adoptive family, and your hospital experience.You can even choose to change your mind at any point up to the time when you relinquish your parental rights.
If you are considering adoption when you don’t want the baby of an unplanned pregnancy, Adoption Choices of Kansas is here for you to guide you through your options so you can make an informed decision on how to proceed with your adoption journey.
Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.
Mary finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.