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Dating After Adoption- How to Talk About Adoption

By Katiara Potter

If you’re a single woman, it may be hard to re-enter the dating scene after putting up your baby for adoption. You may also fear being judged and criticized for your decision. You may wonder if you should tell a potential partner about the adoption. Thoughts like this can weigh heavily on the mind of a birth mother. Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to dispel any worries you may have. If you need any support or assistance, reach out to one of our adoption specialists. You can also reach out to a counselor or specialist at any of our adoption agencies in Kansas.

If you need adoption help now, please call us at 877-903-4488, text us at 316-209-2071, or visit us at Adoption Choices of Kansas.

How Do I Tell a Potential Partner About My Decision to Place My Child Up For Adoption?

Talking about adoption with people you’re dating can seem scary. You may be thinking about what you should say or when the right time is to have a conversation. Because of this, it can be tough when date after adoption. However, many birth mothers go on to have happy, and fulfilling love lives post-adoption. When conversing about Wichita adoption with a person you’re dating, you can take a few approaches.

1. Let the topic come up naturally

While adoption may not come up naturally in conversation, the topic of children or family probably will. This moment could allow you to discuss brief details about your decision to choose adoption with your date.

2. Do so when you feel comfortable

When deciding to tell the person you’re dating about the adoption, don’t feel like you have to rush. Telling them about your decision to choose adoption isn’t mandatory for your relationship. Choosing adoption was not an easy decision. You made a courageous move to ensure that your child had a better life. Don’t feel pressured into sharing your story with everyone. First, you should ask yourself if you want to share these details with the person you’re dating. If you don’t feel like you should, you don’t have to. Not disclosing the adoption details doesn’t make you a bad person. And you definitely shouldn’t feel shame for not sharing these details. 

3. Be direct and honest

When you feel comfortable telling the person you’re dating about the adoption, be honest and upfront with them. This doesn’t mean you must tell them every detail about the adoption. But, if you’ve decided to tell them about the adoption, it’s important to be as honest as possible. Remember, there’s no shame in choosing adoption and being a birth mother. Your decision to choose adoption was selfless, brave, and courageous. By placing your child up for adoption, you allowed them to have a better life. 

How Do I Explain My Decision?

It’s not easy deciding to tell a potential partner about your decision to choose adoption. Knowing what to say in this situation can be even harder. When explaining your decision to place your baby up for adoption, it’s important to focus on your reasoning. Every birth mother chooses adoption for different reasons. Every one of these reasons is valid. You can explain your reasoning and the benefits behind your decision to your potential partner. One of the most common benefits of many adoptions is the child’s better life. You can also explain the adoption process to your potential partner. Explaining the details of the process and your reasoning may help your potential partner to be more empathetic. Hearing your story may help your potential partner understand you and your decision a bit more. After telling them about the adoption, it’s important to allow them to ask any questions they may have. Remember to focus on your reasoning for choosing adoption and the benefits of adoption. 

What to Consider When Dating After Adoption

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to rush when telling a person you’re dating about the adoption. You should feel comfortable enough with disclosing this information first. If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t do it. If you share this information with your potential partner, don’t feel shameful for being a birth mother. Choosing adoption is nothing to feel shame about. Putting up your baby for adoption was probably one of your toughest decisions. It required bravery, something many people don’t have. If a person does shame you for your decision, it’s probably an indicator that things won’t work out. A potential partner should be understanding, accepting, and empathetic. They shouldn’t be judging you or categorizing you because you chose adoption. 

It may not be easy discussing adoption with people you’re dating. Birth mothers may think they will be judged or criticized for their decision. Re-entering the dating scene may be tough because of this. Despite this, many birth moms still have success with dating and lead fulfilling love lives. It’s also important to remember that your decision to place your child up for adoption is valid. Choosing adoption is not giving up. If you need unplanned pregnancy help now, Adoption Choices of Kansas serves birth parents statewide and beyond. We can help with teen pregnancy, financial assistance, difficult situations, and more. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call Us 877-903-4488 or Text Us 316-209-2071  

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