Debunking Adoptions Myths
5 Myths About Adoption and Why They’re Wrong
Adoption seems to be a topic with a lot of preconceived ideas and myths. As a birth mother considering adoption, these myths could be damaging to your decision. Adoption Choices of Kansas wants to make sure you have the correct information so you can easily side-step some popular myths about adoption.
- Myth: Putting My Baby Up for Adoption Means I’m Giving Up/I’m a Bad Mother
This is one of the most common and incorrect myths about adoption. There are hundreds of valid reasons why birth mothers put their babies up for adoption. The decision to parent your baby isn’t always an option for everyone. Some women aren’t in a safe place, don’t have the financial means, or just don’t want to be a parent right now. Yet, even with this information, there are still people who will tell you putting your baby up for adoption is giving up.
It’s the opposite, actually. You’re doing what you believe is the best option for your baby. You are giving your baby the opportunity to live a full life while not putting your own life on hold for 18 years.
- Myth: Adoption is Expensive
The cost of anything is typically at the forefront of anyone’s mind. A popular, but often not talked about, myth about adoption is that it can be expensive for the birth mother. If you’re considering putting your baby up for adoption, it’s understandable to be concerned about the cost. Babies are expensive, even before they’re born. Medical bills, maternity clothes, transportation to doctor appointments and a safe place to sleep are just a few of the financial costs you may be worried about.
But don’t fret. Adoption Choices of Kansas offers financial assistance to qualifying birth, where every single expense is covered. We work with you to apply for Medicaid and other assistance programs. Any cost not covered by Medicaid is taken care of by our agency or your child’s adoptive family. In other words, you don’t pay a cent. Placing your baby for adoption doesn’t cost anything, and our counseling services are also free for you to use. We make sure you get the financial assistance you need to keep you and your baby healthy throughout your pregnancy.
- Myth: Time is of the Essence
Time tends to slip away fast when you’re growing a human inside of you. Before you know it, your due date creeps up on you, and you’re faced with a looming decision. Maybe you thought parenting was the best option, but now you’ve changed your mind. Perhaps you’ve been busy being pregnant and haven’t thought about what’s going to happen after your baby is born.
It’s okay. A lot of women have been in your exact position, and it’s not too late to choose adoption. Even if the contractions have started or if you just brought your baby home, it’s not too late. More time is typically better, but life never seems to play out perfectly, so we want to assure you that you will always have the option of adoption.
- Myth: Closed Adoption is the Best Option
When considering adoption, you might assume that passing your baby to the nurse and never seeing them again is the best option. There are a lot of arguments surrounding why certain types of adoption are better than others. While a fully closed adoption or semi-open adoption might be best for some people, only around 5% of adoptions today are completely closed. Several studies show open adoption is actually better psychologically for the adoptee and the birth mother, as well as the adoptive parents.
Assuming your baby won’t want to know you or will hate you are some common reasons this myth about adoption is so well-known. The reality is adoptees usually want to know their biological parents. They want to know their background and lineage, and it’s healthier for them as they grow and discover their identity.
- Myth: I’ll be Closed Off from My Baby’s Life
Suppose you’re worried about not having a role in your baby’s life. In that case, you probably don’t know how wonderful the world of open adoption has become. It’s natural to believe the myths about adoption being cold, distant and closed off. The good news is, this is entirely untrue. If you want to be a part of your baby’s life, you have that option.
With open adoptions, you and the adoptive family have an understanding of the amount of communication and time you get with your baby. Often, birth mothers and adoptive parents become very close and serve as a support system for each other. If you want to be closed off, you have that option. Still, generally, most people choose some level of openness for their adoption experience.
Debunking Myths about Adoption
We’ve barely scratched the surface of all the myths out there. As an adoption agency and proponents of adoption, we at Adoption Choices of Kansas want to make sure you know the facts. Misconceptions can swirl around the internet and spread like wildfire. Going into the adoption journey, we want to make sure you have all of the facts you need to navigate the myths and misinformation you may encounter.
Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years’ experience as a freelance writer, and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games.
As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”