Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy and the Adoption Triad
You find out you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, and you are very shocked by this news. You may feel worried and scared considering the circumstances and are thinking of what steps to take next while weighing your options. Having an unplanned pregnancy can cause much stress and anxiety, as having a child is one of the biggest responsibilities there is in life. If you are not ready, this can feel very emotionally taxing. Luckily, if you need unplanned pregnancy help, there are always many solutions to your concerns with adoption in Kansas being one of them. During your pregnancy, it can already be overwhelming enough to keep up with yourself and to practice self-care in this process. Not only do you have yourself to think about, but you have your child to think about, as well as the adoptive family. There are multiple parties involved in this process, and each has a unique relationship with one another. At Adoption Choices of Kansas, we are here to give you advice on what to expect and keep in mind during your adoption process, especially as a birth mother within the Kansas adoption triad.
What is the Adoption Triad?
In the adoption process, there is something called the adoption triad. This represents all people that are involved in this process and the connection they all have to each other because of this. In the adoption triad, there is the birth mother, her child, and the adoptive parents. Each plays an important role in the triad and has a unique relationship with one another. In the adoption triad, it is important for all parties to be cooperative and communicative on their boundaries and desires for the adoption process to go as smoothly as possible and to give the best life for you, your child, and the adoptive family. These relationships will always be interconnected, however, on varying levels depending on what type of adoption you are looking for, such as open, semi-open, or closed adoption.
Relationships Within The Adoption Triangle
As each relationship is unique in the adoption triad, it’s important to know how to navigate them and what to expect from each one. Here are several dynamics within the adoption triad.
- Birth Mother and Adoptive Parents
In this relationship, the birth mother and the adoptive parents of her child will be in communication on varying levels, depending on the type of adoption pursued. If you choose to pursue an open adoption, this relationship is especially important because of the fact that you will choose which adoptive parents you want for your child, and continuously maintain contact with them. They may be people that align with your morals and values, as you would want them to teach your child those values through raising them. This relationship must be full of communication and understanding so that the boundaries put in place are not crossed, and there are no negative feelings or jealousy.
- Birth Mother and Her Child
The birth mother and her child relationship in the adoptive triad is a very intimate and sensitive one. If you are planning on pursuing an open or even semi-open adoption, this relationship must be navigated with care. You may still feel a sense of attachment to your child and they will feel a sense of attachment to you. It is important to acknowledge that this bond can be powerful but to also keep in mind that your child is being raised by their adoptive parents. It can be easy to get carried away in feeling protective or territorial over your child. However, remember that you placed them up for adoption for a reason, and it is best for you and your child to have boundaries while still getting to enjoy your relationship together.
- Adoptive Parents and Adoptee
The relationship between the adoptive parents and the adoptee takes a unique role. Because the adoptive parents will be the adoptee’s primary caregivers, your child will learn most of what they know and be shaped mainly by their adoptive parents. That’s why it’s so important for you to choose wisely when choosing your child’s adoptive family, as this is what will shape them. Your child will grow attached to their adoptive family and spend most of their time with them. Although they may have some of your traits through nature, they will mostly have their adoptive family’s traits through nurture.
Coexisting Within the Adoption Triad
All parts of the triad play a major role in the adoption process and beyond. All three components will forever be a part of each other’s lives, whether it’s physically, mentally, or emotionally. Learning how to coexist within the unique dynamic that you have and what works for you will create the happiest and healthy life for each party. Adoption Choices of Kansas is always here to offer you advice and answer any questions you may have. Each person’s adoption journey and dynamic look different, so it all depends on what you ultimately want. If you have any further questions, don’t hesitate to reach out!
Meet the Author: Tatiana Kelly is a graduate of Saint Mary’s College of California where she pursued a degree in Business with a concentration in Marketing. She first discovered her passion for journalism in high school when she joined Yearbook, allowing her to interview others and learn their intricacies, ultimately giving them a voice. Her empathetic nature motivates her to write about others and be interested in the details of each individual and their story.
Tatiana’s passion for writing deepened when she took a college journalism class, which allowed her to write various types of content consisting of Feature Story, Review, and Profile pieces. She went on to hone her writing and marketing skills through her position as a Marketing Associate at the Lesher Arts Center in Walnut Creek, CA, where she managed social media content and advertising assets. In her free time, Tatiana enjoys writing poetry and her thoughts about philosophy. She explores her creative and musical side through instruments, singing, and nature.