Having a Baby After Placing One for Adoption
By Laysha Macedo
Finding yourself in the adoption process pondering, “Can I have a family after placing a baby for adoption?” is normal. Just because your current situation is not optimal for raising a child, does not mean that it won’t be in the future. Guilt, however, may find its way into your thinking as you consider the child you placed for adoption. We are here to reassure you that you have nothing to be guilty about. While it is a normal response, both situations may present themselves differently. When you placed a child for adoption, it was likely not the best time for you to parent a child. Intentionally starting a family or even feeling apt for parenthood, may lead you to consider parenting.
At Adoption Choices of Kansas, we hope to alleviate any stress or worry about having children after placing a child for adoption. As a birth parent, thinking about starting a family may feel different, but it is important to know that timing is essential. If your situation changes, your decision to parent a child can also change.
Choosing to Have a Child After Adoption
The toll of placing a baby for adoption can be major. The decision often stems from being faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Many factors can contribute to the adoption route, but regardless, the birth mother’s choice demands respect. If she believes herself to not be able to parent the child then deciding on what is best for the child is valid.
This decision may leave you feeling as if having a child in the future is not a possibility. This may result from stigmas about adoption or feeling pessimistic about your current situation. It may seem that because you placed one child for adoption, you should not be able to have children. This is not the case. The choices for your future lie within yourself. If you decide as time passes that you want to be a parent, you have every right to start a family. You also have every right to feel happy about it. Making additions to your family is always an exciting moment and you should be able to express the joy that comes with parenthood.
Challenges of this New Pregnancy
Once you decide to continue a pregnancy and start a family, those nine months may result in newfound feelings. The pregnancy may take you back to the previous child and adoption plan. This could make guilt more difficult. You may find yourself comparing this pregnancy to the previous, making that experience more vivid in your thoughts. The guilt of giving one child a home with you when you could not for the previous may be a difficulty. It is important during this time to ground yourself in why the circumstances are different. Take comfort in knowing that the decision you made before had the child’s best interests in mind. You did everything you needed during the pregnancy and adoption process to ensure the child’s well-being and happiness.
In this new pregnancy, you can take from your previous experience to know how to approach parenthood. What you did before does not make you a bad person or reflect on how you will be as a parent. Even if there are stigmas or people who have something to say, know that your decisions are valid.
Finding Support Through This Process
Another key factor in starting a family is making sure you have a strong support system. Like you did originally when placing your baby for adoption, support from family and friends is vital. Having those around you reassure you of your decision and help you will be beneficial in going through this process.
Resources like Adoption Choices of Kansas or counselors may also be of much help in talking through your worries. You may even seek help in talking through having placed a baby for adoption. Something to address could be how to continue healing even if time has passed. These resources are a great opportunity to work through these emotional circumstances and establish a positive outlook.
How Adoption Choices of Kansas Can Help
Starting a family after placing a baby for adoption may be difficult emotionally. Callbacks to your previous pregnancy may be difficult. It is hard to avoid guilt and pain, but it is important that you deserve to form a family if you wish. Here at Adoption Choices of Kansas, we are here to help with information necessary for unplanned pregnancies and adoption plans.
