The decision to place a child for adoption has long-term effects on the birth mother. While a birth mother’s decision to choose this option is a selfless act of love, she may feel lasting feelings of pain, guilt, and uncertainty. As a result, this can have effects on future pregnancies. If you are pregnant after placing a child for adoption, you may have different feelings attached to your next pregnancy. Below is a list of things that you should know if you are pregnant with a child after placing one of your children for adoption.
If you are considering adoption again, here are some things to know:
- You can place this child for adoption too.
Sometimes, expecting mothers question if they are able to place another child for adoption after previously doing so. The answer is yes. A birth mother always has the choice to choose adoption if she wants to pursue this route again. There can be any number of reasons why someone might wish to do this. Perhaps the birth mother is still not at a place in her life where she feels she can best provide for her child or maybe she has other children and does not feel that she can have another one at this time. Whatever the reason, adoption is always an option.
- You can decide if you want to place your child with the same family or not.
If you decide that adoption is the best option, you may be able to place your next child with the same family you placed another child with. If your baby’s adoptive family is open to expanding their family, and you are happy and comfortable with the adoption plan you share with the family, then you can certainly place your next child with this family. However, you are in no way obligated to do this. The choice is still yours and you can find another adoptive family if you wish.
If you are considering keeping your next child, here are some things to consider:
- You may feel guilty about the child you placed for adoption.
A birth mother who previously chose to place her child for adoption might be at a new stage in her life that allows her to keep her new child. While this is an exciting time, she may feel grief for the child she placed for adoption. It is normal to feel guilty. Sometimes you may feel the absence of your other child much more powerfully than you did before. While the emotions about this new pregnancy may be heightened, know that you are worthy to be a mother. There may be many different reasons why you placed another child for adoption. At the time, you made the decision that was best for both your baby and yourself. Now, you may be in a different place and ready to be a mother. Allow yourself to feel the excitement of this new pregnancy. In having another baby, you are not replacing the one you placed for adoption. They will always have a place in your heart and it is important to not let these negative feelings consume your pregnancy now.
- You may have all sorts of emotions and triggers throughout this new pregnancy.
For some mothers, different events may trigger memories from another pregnancy. Allow yourself patience and compassion during these times as it can be incredibly difficult. You may feel alone in this struggle. However, there are many resources that will put you in contact with the right people. It is important to talk through your emotions during the whole process. Being as open as possible will help you heal during this pregnancy.
Ultimately, an expecting mother who has placed another child for adoption may have many different emotions and questions throughout a new pregnancy. It is important to know your options and to understand some of the feelings you may be having. Know that there are many available resources for you. Finally, allow yourself to feel the excitement of this new chapter in your life. If you have any questions about your next adoption journey, contact Adoption Choices of Kansas now.