How to Pick the Best Adoptive Parents for Your Child
You are scrolling through photo after photo. Emotions running high. Each smiling family. Cute bios written about them, sharing life stories and desires. Which one is perfect for your baby? Some already have siblings — biological and adopted. For some couples and individuals, this would be their first child. Some are single women, some are married couples, some have been trying to have a kid for years, some choosing to adopt being the right options. Each adoption family seems like a good match, but you want the best match. Do I want an open adoption? Is a closed one the right way to go? Who will give my child the best they can give?
When it comes down to it, you and the adoptive parents want the same thing. What is best for the child. You want the best family and they want to be the best family. But, how do you pick the best adoptive parents for your child?
Things to Consider When Picking an Adoptive Family
- Family Dynamics
Maybe religion is an important factor to you. Lifestyle. A family with similar beliefs to yours. Maybe you want your child to grow up with siblings. Perhaps you want him or her to be an only child.
Knowing as many specific details about the family you want for your child will help you narrow down your options. To see the dynamics of the adoptive family you’re looking at. Maybe you are looking for an adoptive family who lives within a reasonable distance from you, so that you can be a part of the child’s life in the form of an open adoption. Maybe you want your child to be placed in a home with animals, because you are also an animal lover and that would help you click with the family. All of this is up to you.
- Good Future Opportunities
You want what is best for your child. This may mean ensuring that they are placed in an adoptive family where he or she will have opportunities for a bright future. What does this look like to you? Having your child raised in a good school system? Be able to go to college and get a degree?
Above all, you want to make sure he or she is happy, healthy and safe. But, are their specific traits or interests you hope they develop to help them later in life? What other opportunities can the adoptive family provide? Maybe ballet lessons, or the chance to be a part of a sport’s team. Maybe even joining a theater group or picking up an instrument. Something that your child can grow in, make friends and find a passion. Anything that would be best for the child.
- Strong and Healthy Morals
Looking at an adoptive family’s morals may also be on your list. You want your child to be raised with kindness and compassion. In an adoptive family who has similar morals and values as you. You want him or her to learn the importance of respect. Independence. Self-confidence. You want an adoptive family who will be a good example and help your child grow up to be a good person. To teach them what is right and wrong. You want a family to raise your child to be the best they can be — and even more.
When You Pick the Best Adoptive Parents for Your Child
Picture after picture. Family after family. Suddenly, there they are. Smiling up at you. Bio and picture saying, “This is it!” They are the ones. They check all the boxes and live in a good area. They may even have a child already or a dog. The profile might even explain why they are wanting to adopt.
Everything just clicks! You take a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. You won’t be doing this alone. You have found your child’s adoptive family.
The Next Step After You Pick the Best Adoptive Family for Your Child
What comes next? You bring the adoptive parent profile to your adoption caseworker, who asks if you want to meet the family. Yes, of course, you do! You want to make sure they are as good a fit in person as they appear on paper.
You have a good feeling about your choice, and about knowing you are making their dreams come true. That this is the adoptive family who will be best for your child. Your heart fills with peace and warmth. This moment seems surreal. You did it! You have a million questions to ask them and can’t wait to schedule a meeting.
Meet the Author: Victoria Rose Lane was born and raised in Pueblo, Colorado. She is currently studying Poetry at Western Colorado University to earn her Masters of Fine Arts degree. She has studied Creative writing at Colorado State University and has a passion for words and stories. Victoria loves to write tales and poetry of the “fantastic” nature. She has been published in Tempered Steel, a Southern Colorado Literary magazine. During her undergrad, she worked for the literary magazine, Pilgrimage, as an Editorial Assistant.
Currently, Victoria works at a daycare in Colorado Springs teaching a class of two and three year olds. Victoria spends her free time, writing, reading, hiking and sometimes painting. She also enjoys collecting succulents.