How to Prepare for Choosing the Adoptive Family
Choosing the adoptive family for your baby is a critical point in your adoption journey. As you are on your path to pursuing the best outcomes for you and the child, a couple or individual is on their own path to nurture a human life. The crossing of these paths marks a turning point in your adoption journeys that brings you both closer to achieving your goals.
At Adoption Choices of Kansas, it’s important to us that your baby is successfully placed, and that you are completely confident that the adoptive family you are choosing is the right fit. That’s why we are providing you with this overview of how to prepare for choosing the adoptive family and what to expect along the way.
- Figure Out What You Want in an Adoptive Family
Before you jump right into the selection process, you first need to get a good idea of what qualities you want to see in an adoptive family. This is the family who will raise the child you carry, so you want to be sure that they are well equipped to produce the best outcomes for him or her. Carefully consider what is most important for you to see in an adoptive family. Are there certain values you want them to instill in your child? Do you envision them having a hands-on or hands-off approach to parenting? Are they financially stable? Do they want you to play a role in their lives as the child’s birth mother? You might also want to seek input from trusted friends, family members, or even a counselor as you brainstorm your list of must-haves to make sure you are covering all your bases.
2. Figure Out What You Don’t Want in an Adoptive Family
Equally important to knowing what you want in an adoptive family is knowing what you don’t want in an adoptive family. Perhaps you are pursuing an open adoption, and you would prefer to place your baby into an adoptive family who lives relatively close to you. It might be important to you that your child is raised by two parents instead of one. Maybe you don’t want to select an adoptive family who has no prior experience with adoption. Remember that you get to decide what is right for your baby. When you are able to clearly define what you want and don’t want in an adoptive family, Adoption Choices of Kansas is in a better position to match you with adoptive families who can meet your needs.
- Be Open to Different Kinds of Adoptive Families
As important as it is to know what you want and don’t want in an adoptive family, it’s also important to have a certain degree of flexibility in your selection criteria as well. Surely, you will have clear boundaries for certain things, and that’s good to have. However, you may encounter an adoptive family who possesses qualities you weren’t initially looking for who would do an amazing job at parenting. You might discover that such an adoptive family can enrich the child’s life in ways you didn’t expect.
Perhaps you come across an adoptive family who has unique experiences that have given them an interesting perspective on life that you wish the child to have. Perhaps the adoptive family has a different background or structure from the family in which you grew up. You might also consider including transracial or LGBT adoptive families in your search if you hadn’t previously thought to do so. All these families have great things to offer that you may not have known to look for by just sticking strictly to what is familiar to you.
- Begin Going through Adoptive Parent Profiles
When you’re ready to begin the selection process, Adoption Choices of Kansas will provide you access to as many adoptive family profiles as you want to see. Our staff will work closely with you to better understand your needs and what you’re looking for, so that we can do the best job we can to find families who will be a good fit for the child you will be placing. We will continue to provide you with as many profiles as you need until you find the right adoptive family.
As you go through these profiles, you will learn more details about a given prospective adoptive family including what their lifestyle is like and why they are choosing adoption. If they are a couple, for instance, you will likely learn about their love story, which can give you an idea of what their relationship is like. You will also get to see pictures of the adoptive family so you can get a sense of their personalities and what their daily life is like.
- Meet and Get to Know the Adoptive Family
Once you come across a prospective adoptive family who matches what you are looking for, you will finally get a chance to meet them. A birth parent counselor at Adoption Choices of Kansas will arrange an initial phone call or in-person meeting between you and your chosen adoptive family. This gives you the opportunity to get to know them better on a personal level to confirm that they are the ones you want to choose. It also marks the beginning of an amazing relationship if you pursue an open or semi-open adoption.
Choosing an Adoptive Family as a Birth Mother in Kansas
Having to let go of a child, even when you know it’s the best decision for both of you, is never easy. However, knowing you are placing him or her in an adoptive family who will provide them with a bright future can bring you reassurance and some peace of mind that you are making the right choice.
If you are a birth mother considering adoption in Kansas, and you would like further guidance on how to prepare for choosing the adoptive family, Adoption Choices of Kansas will provide you with the resources and support you need so you can find the right adoptive family for your baby.
Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.
Mary finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.