I Don’t Feel Guilty About Placing My Baby for Adoption. Is There Something Wrong With Me?
By Shamani Salahuddin
If you are pregnant and considering adoption, you may be feeling a lot. Sadness, worry, and fear are common for birth mothers facing unplanned pregnancies. Many women are worried that they will feel guilty for placing their baby for adoption. Others may feel guilty that they will feel relief after finalizing the Kansas adoption.
Like birth parents, the emotions felt throughout the adoption process also vary. Every mother is different, and every reason for choosing adoption is different. It might sound good for a birth mother to say she’s happy about her adoption. But, feeling happiness post-adoption can lead to feelings of guilt. It may make the birth mother feel like a bad person. Many people think birth mothers should feel shame or sadness after giving their baby up for adoption. And if they don’t, it makes them selfish. Our adoption agencies in Kansas know this isn’t the case. At Adoption Choices of Kansas, we believe there is no right or wrong way to feel about adoption. All emotions are valid.
Why You Chose Adoption
In times of doubt, it is essential to remember why you chose adoption. Adoption isn’t the only option when it comes to unplanned pregnancy. While some people may see adoption as an easy way out of parenthood, we know that is false. You put a lot of thought into your adoption plan with your agency in Kansas.
You made this decision out of love for yourself and your baby. Every birth mother chooses adoption for different reasons. Whether you could not provide for your baby, are too young, or do not want a baby now. You realized that your baby could have a better life with another family. Remember you believed adoption would be best for you and your child.
Why You Might Feel Relief After Adoption
You might feel relief or happiness after adoption but don’t allow those feelings to become guilt. It is okay to feel relief after completing adoption. Raising a baby is a serious commitment, and it is not for everyone. Acknowledging that you can’t, or don’t want to, raise a baby is responsible and brave. Our adoption agencies in Kansas serve many mothers from different backgrounds. Each adoption is individual to the birth mother, and so are their emotions.
Not every woman who is pregnant wants to be a mother. Along with that, a child is ultimately better off with a parent who wants to be one. Even if you choose to have a closed adoption, you showed a mother’s love in choosing adoption. Now, they have the chance of a future with a loving family.
Relief may also indicate how much you care about your child. It sounds completely opposite to what you may think. However, you may feel relief because you are comfortable with your child’s family and confident they are safe. Especially if you have an open adoption, feeling relief is expected. Seeing your child happy and healthy can bring emotions of joy and ease, but don’t feel guilty about it. Although they are fortunate to be with their adoptive family, it doesn’t mean they couldn’t be happy with you, too. Don’t let anyone’s judgments make you second-guess your decision. You are the only one who knows why you contacted the adoption agency. No matter what you feel, you are allowed to feel that way.
Nothing is Wrong with You for Choosing Adoption
Nothing is wrong with you if you don’t feel guilty after placing your baby for adoption. The adoption journey is a long and strenuous one. It’s okay to feel relief because you can get back to your life now that this stage of your life is over. We understand you had a life before you got pregnant, and we want to help you have one after.
There are countless number of things that can arise for birth mothers after adoption. Relief and happiness might be yours, and that’s okay. If it was best for you and your baby, there is no reason to feel bad for it. You can feel what you need to feel and move on in your life with peace.
If you are pregnant and searching for adoption agencies near you, contact Adoption Choices of Kansas to learn more about your adoption choices. We are a licensed and reputable agency with local adoption in Wichita and Kansas City.
Si está considerando dar a su bebé en adopción, llame a Adoption Choices of Kansas para iniciar el proceso.