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I Gave My Baby Up for Adoption in Kansas, Now What?

By Laysha Macedo

Placing a baby for adoption is difficult enough. The unplanned pregnancy, adoption process, and everything that comes with it can be an overwhelmingly emotional journey. What is often forgotten is what happens after. How is one, as a birth parent, supposed to deal with the aftermath of the adoption process and heal? Everyone’s journey after the adoption can vary. People’s grief and healing look different for everyone. It all depends on how this entire process has affected you. Here at Adoption Choices of Kansas hope to provide you with helpful resources and ways to navigate this transition period in your life. While difficult, you, like so many birth parents, will be able to get through it as you have with the adoption process. It may be emotionally draining and hard, but with support and resources, anything is possible during this time of healing.

Newfound Emotions After Adoption 

The adoption process, during and after placing your baby, is filled with complexities. Especially after adoption finalization, you may find yourself experiencing feelings of loss. This is a completely valid and natural response to this process. After carrying the child for nine months, placing the baby—while part of your adoption plan— may still be difficult to carry out. If you experience these emotions, be reassured in the fact that you are not the only one who has felt like this after adoption. Just as they have been able to make sense of their feelings and overcome the grief, so will you. You may also find yourself feeling guilty. A stigma of adoption often being that birth parents have “abandoned” their child can make guilt something inevitable to feel, especially afterward. You have nothing to be ashamed of or guilty about. The adoption process is hard, and the choice you made was even harder. It is important to emphasize that the decision you made was what you deemed best for the child. Ultimately putting their needs and their future first in the decision-making process. And that is nothing to be guilty of.

Healthy Relationships with the Adoptive Family

In the case of open adoptions, navigating your relationship with the adoptive family is part of the aftermath of the adoption. Maintaining a healthy relationship will be helpful to not just yourself but the child and adoptive family. To start, the child’s happiness and best interests should be kept in mind by yourself and the adoptive family. With the child as the clear focus, you can then begin establishing boundaries that will be helpful in building this relationship. Figuring out the limits of open adoption and keeping consistent communication will encourage healthy bonds in the adoption triad post-adoption.

Finding Support After Adoption

Coping with this emotional journey can encompass many different things. Journaling, for example, can be a helpful tool in working out difficult emotions. Expressing your thoughts or answering prompts and then looking back at them can provide a new perspective. If you feel that talking your emotions out works best for you, venting to a friend or reaching out to your support system could help. Finding community can also be a great way to feel heard and accompanied during this time. This can also be done through support groups by surrounding yourself with people with similar experiences.

If what you are experiencing needs more, in addition to what some of these methods can do, seeking professional help is of the utmost importance. Trained professionals have the ability to provide the right kind of support that you need. 

Life and Healing After Adoption

While you may experience a rough patch after adoption, be assured that life continues. From this point on, you can continue living your life and making choices for yourself and your future. Your life can go in any direction. Motherhood, if you choose, can be a possibility. Working on your education or getting a new job are all within your reach. Making a plan for yourself can be a positive experience after adoption.

Adoption Choices of Kansas is Here to Help

Life after adoption can be a difficult period of transition. Navigating through emotions and relationships while trying provides a great opportunity for growth and healing. Life after adoption can be confusing and stressful, but it can also be a chance to look forward to what the future holds.

If you are an unexpectedly pregnant woman seeking more information on adoption agencies in Kansas, be sure to reach out to Adoption Choices of Kansas. We hope to provide you with information on Wichita adoption options and adoption agencies near you.

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