Open Adoption Pros and Cons to Know as a Pregnant Woman Considering Adoption in KS
An unplanned pregnancy can bring about many confusing feelings. This situation is especially hard when you may feel an attachment to your baby, but do not feel equipped to be a mother — or do not desire that at this moment in your life. That is perfectly okay to feel. With a child comes much responsibility. If you are not ready for parenthood at this point in your life, adoption is always an option.
Adoption Choices of Kansas has many options for you to choose from through your adoption journey, depending on what kind of outcome you would like. Open adoption is one of the many options you may consider.
What is Open Adoption?
Choosing an open adoption means that you may still have contact with your child after the adoption is finalized. This can be in the form of phone calls, letters, pictures, and even in person visits. You may also choose your child’s adoptive family and get to know them during your pregnancy, throughout the adoption process and beyond.
While open adoption allows you to have an ongoing relationship with the adoptive family throughout your child’s life, it is important to learn as much as you can about this type of adoption before coming to a final conclusion. Here are some important open adoption pros and cons for you to know as you’re researching.
Cons of Open Adoption
Though there are many potential positives of open adoption, there are also crucial cons to keep in mind. Everyone has a different image of what they want their adoption process to look like. Take a moment to think about what you want as you learn these cons of open adoption.
- Lack of Privacy or Anonymity
Because an open adoption includes an ongoing relationship with your child and the adoptive parents, you’ll want to ensure that you are ready to commit to this. If you would rather stay more anonymous or private, open adoption may not be the right choice for you. In an open adoption, you get to be in your child’s life and communicate with the adoptive family. This will expose your identity and decrease your sense of privacy in your life.
- Increased Responsibility
In an open adoption, you may have an increased sense of responsibility to your child and the adoptive family. This may come in the form of having to choose the adoptive family for your child and build a relationship with them. You will also have to keep in touch with them and possibly have visits with your child. If you are not emotionally ready for this, and do not want to carry the responsibility of nurturing this ongoing relationship, open adoption might not be the best option for you.
- Pressure to Choose Wisely
Because you will be choosing the adoptive family for your child, you may feel an immense amount of pressure to choose them wisely. This can present an unexpected pressure, as you want a good life for your child. Choosing the adoptive family who would provide that for him or her is all in your hands. Some birth mothers feel that this decision is too much for them, and defer to the adoption agency to select the adoptive family. If you would rather go this route, you may want to consider semi-open or closed adoption instead of an open adoption.
Pros of Open Adoption
With the three types of adoption to choose from, open adoption is one that can offer you more ease, autonomy, and the chance at positive relationships. What’s more, you are in charge of the adoption process. Nothing happens without your consent, and your assigned adoption caseworker will walk with you every step of the way. If this sounds like something you’re wanting out of your adoption journey, here are several pros of open adoption to keep in mind.
- Ongoing Relationship with Your Child and the Adoptive Family
In an open adoption, you will get the chance to have an ongoing relationship with your child and the adoptive parents. Although you may not have the resources or feel responsible enough to take care of a child on your own, this doesn’t mean you don’t want them in your life or feel a sense of attachment to them. Having a relationship with your child will allow him or her to grow up getting to know you in a healthy way. You can share a part of yourself and your values with him or her to help them navigate life. Additionally, you can get to know the adoptive family before your child is born and after the adoption has been finalized.
- Power in Choosing the Adoptive Family
A positive about considering an open adoption is that you can choose the adoptive family that your child goes to. This gives you a sense of control in the adoption process as the decision is ultimately yours. At Adoption Choices of Kansas, we will provide you with adoptive parent profiles that best fit what kind of life you want your child to have. Your adoption caseworker may also ask you if you’re willing to consider other types of adoptive families, such as LGBT, single or transracial parents. It’s all up to you.
After you’ve chosen the adoptive family, you can get to know them and discuss healthy boundaries for what life will look like post placement.
- Peace of Mind throughout the Adoption Process
Because you will have the power to make the ultimate decision during the adoption process, you will have a sense of ease, knowing exactly what kind of adoptive family your child will go to and what opportunities can be available to him or her. An open adoption can also give you peace of mind, because you can check up on your child to see how he or she is doing. This can happen as frequently or as infrequently as agreed upon between you and the adoptive parents.
What are Your Thoughts on Open Adoption?
Everyone’s adoption journey looks a little bit different. Some birth mothers may find negatives in an open adoption, depending on the amount of privacy they want. Others may find open adoption to be ideal for their situation and the desire to have an ongoing relationship with their child. Just know that your situation is unique to you. Everything you are feeling is valid, and there is no right or wrong way to go about adoption. It’s about what makes you the most comfortable and happy.
Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to offer you the pros and cons of open adoption so that you can have the most fulfilling adoption experience possible. If you have any further questions, don’t hesitate to reach out! Adoption Choices of Kansas serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us or text us to learn more!
Call Us 877-903-4488 or Text Us 316-209-2071
Meet the Author: Tatiana is a graduate of Saint Mary’s College of California where she pursued a degree in Business with a concentration in Marketing. She first discovered her passion for journalism in high school when she joined Yearbook, allowing her to interview others and learn their intricacies, ultimately giving them a voice. Her empathetic nature motivates her to write about others and be interested in details of each individual and their story.
Tatiana’s passion for writing deepened when she took a college journalism class, which allowed her to write various types of content consisting of Feature Story, Review, and Profile pieces. She went on to hone her writing and marketing skills through her position as a Marketing Associate at the Lesher Arts Center in Walnut Creek, CA, where she managed social media content and advertising assets. In her free time, Tatiana enjoys writing poetry and her thoughts about philosophy. She explores her creative and musical side through instruments, singing, and nature.
