Important Pros and Cons of Open Adoption to Know as a Birth Mother
Open adoption has been seen as a more radical idea in the adoption world for some time. There hasn’t been a lot of explanation on the idea, and so people end up listening to and believing the myths that surround the idea of open adoption. While some things are true, some are most definitely false. But whatever those myths are, if you feel like open adoption is the right choice for you, then go with it.
If you are a birth mother considering an open adoption for you and your child, it’s important that you do your own research so you understand the pros and cons of open adoption before making this decision. If you’re unsure where to begin, that’s okay. Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to give you the information you need to help you make your decision.
Cons of Open Adoption
- It might Not Provide Closure
If you are looking to have closure to your adoption journey, then open adoption may not be for you. Open adoption allows birth parents and adoptive parents the opportunity to have honest communication with one another and involvement in each other’s lives. So, this option may not be the most comfortable for everyone.
If you’d prefer closure, you may want to talk to your adoption caseworker about choosing a closed adoption.
- Expectations may Not Always be Clear
If open adoption is the way you want to go, remember that there may be certain rules and boundaries that you will have to respect from the adoptive family. Some adoptive and birth parents are a bit leery of open adoption because the boundaries weren’t very clear. To ensure you both are on the same page, be sure to discuss expectations with them and what life will look after the adoption has been finalized. Remember that the details of these agreements can be altered over time, so don’t hesitate to let the adoptive parents know right away if you’d like something to change.
Pros of Open Adoption
- You can have a Relationship with Your Child
Many birth mothers wonder about their child after the adoption has been finalized. Open adoption allows birth mothers to have communication with their child, to build a relationship with him or her and to watch their growth and development. It also allows her to establish a relationship with the adoptive parents. All of this provides her with peace of mind that she made the right choice and reassurance that her child is well cared for.
- Your Child can Learn about Their Heritage and Medical Background
In the past, an adoptee’s health background and heritage weren’t widely known. With open adoption, however, you have the opportunity to share your child’s medical history with the adoptive parents and tell your child their adoption story as they grow up. This is a huge benefit as it helps the adoptive parents know how to be prepared and strengthens your child’s sense of self. Instead of having unanswered questions, your child will be able to learn where they came from, why you made the decision you did and have a deeper understanding of their identity.
- Your Child’s Support System is Wider
It’s no secret that children need all the love and support they can get. If you choose an open adoption agreement, your child’s support system will grow exponentially. Not only will they have their adoptive family, but they will also have you and your family. They will never wonder if they are loved or wanted because they will have a big support system there for them at all times.
Pros and Cons of Open Adoption
While open adoption isn’t for everyone, it is something you may want to research more in depth. Like any situation, there are pros and cons. But, when you find an adoptive family who you can communicate effectively with, the benefits definitely outweigh the risks.
Meet the Author: Gabrielle Willis is a lover of writing and knowledge, which shows in her everyday life. She graduated with a Bachelors in English in 2013, and recently graduated with a Masters in Creative Writing. She has also worked in the education sector for over 10 years, recently becoming a Literacy Tutor. At her core, her passion is reading and writing, and she loves sharing that with others.
She enjoys helping those considering adoption or going through the adoption process any way she can. This internship opportunity truly resonated with her and she hopes that her words will connect and inspire everyone who reads them.