My Story as a Birth Mother
Hello. My name is Natalia and I’m a birth mother.
Before my unplanned pregnancy, there were so many things I wanted to do. When I was growing up, life was a struggle. There were times when there wasn’t enough food to eat in the house, or our lights and water would be off because we couldn’t afford to pay. I made up in my mind that I didn’t want to live like this all my life, and I would do everything in my power to make sure I didn’t have to.
When I turned 19, I was pretty happy because I finally felt stable. I was in college and working. My boyfriend was in school and working as well, and our daughter was a smart and content one year old. I didn’t want anything more.
But life doesn’t always go as planned. Because I was about to get more.
There was a week where I kept throwing up. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I decided to go to the doctor to see if she could tell me what was wrong. Turns out, I was 7 weeks pregnant. I knew I didn’t want to get an abortion. It wasn’t my child’s fault that he or she was growing in my belly, and I didn’t want to take away their chance to live. That was just my choice. But now, I had to decide whether to keep this baby or give my baby up for adoption. My boyfriend wasn’t that thrilled. While he would love the child, we weren’t in a good place to keep him or her. Our finances were strained and, honestly, so was our relationship.
As the pregnancy progressed, I found out I was having another girl. I was happy about this, but still unsure about raising her myself. My relationship with my boyfriend was getting worse, and I wasn’t sure if we would stay together, making me a single mother. I didn’t want to be a single mom with two kids. I still had my dreams of a better life I wanted to fulfill.
The day came when I had my daughter. While I held her, I still had doubts about keeping her. Her father was there for the birth, but we weren’t together anymore. He had moved out. I wanted to keep her still, and brought her home with me, but I knew I couldn’t give her a better life in the position I was in. I loved both of my daughters too much to have them struggle the way I did.
So, I put my new daughter up for adoption.
It wasn’t long before a couple who fit everything I wanted as a parent for my child, came along. I was asked if I wanted to keep contact, but I just asked that my daughter be given the best life they could provide.
That was over twenty years ago. Now, I’m happily married with two more children. My oldest daughter is happy and successful, and has a great relationship with her father, who is also married. I still think about my 2nd daughter. How she’s doing and what she’s been up to, but I don’t regret my decision. It was the right decision for myself and my family. I do hope she reaches out one day. But, if not, I’ll pray she’s happy wherever she is.
That’s all I want as her birth mother.
Meet the Author: Gabrielle Willis is a lover of writing and knowledge, which shows in her everyday life. She graduated with a Bachelors in English in 2013, and recently graduated with a Masters in Creative Writing. She has also worked in the education sector for over 10 years, recently becoming a Literacy Tutor. At her core, her passion is reading and writing, and she loves sharing that with others.
She enjoys helping those considering adoption or going through the adoption process any way she can. This internship opportunity truly resonated with her and she hopes that her words will connect and inspire everyone who reads them.