Open Adoption and a Birth Father
Open adoptions are typically preferred by most birth and adoptive families, because it allows both parties to have open communication and get to know each other throughout the adoption process. If both you and the birth father are entering the adoption journey together, you may wonder what an open adoption agreement looks like and how it will impact you moving forward. That’s what we want to discuss with you today.
We understand that one of the most successful ways for an open adoption to work is through open communication. This can be difficult, especially given that your partner may, or may not be physically present. In times like today, open communication remains difficult due to the ongoing pandemic. However, there are many ways that a birth father can be involved in an open adoption, and we want to discuss a few of those with you today.
Adoption Choices of Kansas recognizes involving a birth father in an open adoption is difficult, but we are here to help you!
Ways that You can Involve Birth Fathers in Open Adoptions
- Keep in touch with him
If the birth father is not physically present when you begin your adoption process, it is always a good idea to reach out to him via phone, text or through social media. Allowing him to remain in close contact with you can allow an open adoption to be smoother. This can also be good when it comes time to talk with a counselor, caseworker and your potential adoptive family. Open communication is key. Without the birth father being in contact with you and your potential adoptive family, it could make the process more difficult.
- Allow him to help you
An open adoption involves both the adoptive and birth parents. You will undoubtedly feel anxious about speaking to a potential adoptive family or a caseworker about adoption. The birth father may already know that you are pregnant and can sit next to you. Having him there could help you feel calmer and know that he is supporting you and your choosing adoption.
You might think that going through the adoption process on your own will be ok, but a support system is necessary. The birth father can help you research possible adoptive parents and start to make appointments with a counselor or caseworker. Although he may be scared to learn of your pregnancy at first, know that if he’s there it means he genuinely cares about you and your baby’s health.
- Plan together
If you feel that allowing your partner to help you in your adoption process will work best, the next thing that should be considered is planning together. This step is very important. Without a proper plan in place, all will fall behind. The end goal of any open adoption is to be able to keep in frequent contact with all members involved. There are many possible ways that you can plan your adoption together with your partner.
Here are a few tips:
- Talk on a video streaming service like FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, etc. Since a lot of open adoptions will not be successful without some sort of plan in mind, it can work best if you are able to chat virtually to make sure you’re on the same page. This can also be the perfect time to brainstorm ways to ensure that your adoption process will succeed. Think of the types of adoptive parents you could see yourself choosing and write them down. Take some time to look on Adoption Choices of Kansas’ website, to see some of the profile books of the waiting families in our database. Each profile has pictures and a biography that will help you learn more about the family, and help you decide who may be the best fit for your child.
- Get in touch with a caseworker and your prospective adoptive family. Part of a successful open adoption is allowing open communication to continue. Your partner should be involved in the adoption process and should be allowed a say in what he thinks about a particular adoptive family. Remember to share your thoughts as well. Then talk it over with a caseworker. Open communication has to flow between all involved in order for everything to succeed in the long term.
- Educate your self and learn more with Adoption Choices of Kansas or other online resources.
Open Adoption and a Birth Father
We hope that this resource allows you to better recognize how the birth father is involved in the adoption process. Open communication is key in order for an open adoption to succeed. Your partner is also your child’s parent, and two heads do work better than one in the end.
Please remember to reach out to us if you have any questions or concerns for us about involving the birth father in the adoption process. We are here to help you! Adoption Choices of Kansas serves birth parents statewide and beyond, please call us 877-903-4488 or text us 316-209-2071 or email us anytime for more information!
Author Bio: Hello! My name is Jason and I am an Editorial Intern for Adoption Choices for the Summer of 2020! To read more about Jason, click here!!