Open Adoption in a Transracial Adoption
There are many decisions to be made when deciding to put your child up for adoption. Some birth mothers think it’s best to not be involved in any way in their child’s adoption process, while others want to be there throughout the adoption process, as well as in the child’s life. Through this adoption process, a birth mother may also want to be aware of which adoption family her child is going to. With this, comes a certain kind of relationship and connection needed between the birth mother and the adoptive family.
Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to offer some information on open adoption in a transracial adoption.
What is Open Adoption?
Open adoption is when the birth mother has involvement with her child and the adoptive family after the adoption has been finalized. If she chooses, the birth mother can also have contact with the adoptive parents before the child is born and develop a relationship with them. This, in turn, can help ensure that the rest of the adoption process runs smoothly and that everyone has a successful adoption journey together.
Our adoption agency strongly encourages all birth mothers and adoptive parents to consider open adoption, as we believe it’s the option that keeps everyone’s benefits in mind. First, the adoptee is able to learn about their birth mother and birth family. Second, the birth mother is able to have peace of mind that she made the right decision through getting to know the adoptive parents. Third, the adoptive parent can have access to health and medical records to be more prepared as the child grows, and also establish a connection with the birth mother herself.
Connecting with the Adoptive Parents through an Open Transracial Adoption
Because the relationship between the birth mother and the adoptive family is a very sensitive and intimate one, there are many factors to consider when choosing the route of a transracial open adoption.
- How Race Plays a Role in Your Relationship with the Adoptive Family
You will be in contact with the adoptive family, therefore needing to form a relationship with them. Because this is an open adoption in a transracial adoption, the relationship you have with the adoptive family will have some different facets to it. This will take getting used to in order to establish healthy communication that works between both parties. For example, the adoptive family may have different styles of life, ethics, religion, or communication because of their different culture.
- How Race Plays a Role in Your Child’s Relationship with Their Adoptive Family
In a transracial open adoption, your child will be raised in a family that has a different race than them. Since this is an open adoption and you will be in your child’s life, you will be seeing them grow up in a different culture than your own. You will be able to meet with your child and show them some of your own culture, which may help your child feel a certain connection to his or her roots. However, keep in mind that your child may, inevitably, end up holding different values than you and be shaped by their adoptive family, since that is where they will spend most of their time.
How to Handle Emotions in an Open Transracial Adoption
Deciding to place your child for adoption is an extremely emotional life choice. Despite this, though, you may still feel a strong attachment to your child. Being in their life as they grow up is an added layer to the adoption process. There are multiple parties to consider during the adoption process, and you may all feel unique things.
- How the Adoptive Family may Feel about an Open Transracial Adoption
Your child’s adoptive family will have the duty to communicate with you while they raise him or her. Because of the connection they will have to you, it will be important to the adoptive family to maintain a positive relationship with you. They may struggle at first seeing that their adoptee looks more like you than them, but that is okay. You may need to adjust as well. That’s why it’s important to be sensitive and empathetic while you remain present in your child’s life, and respect the boundaries put in place and agreed upon.
- How You may Feel about an Open Transracial Adoption
Going through the adoption process can bring about feelings of grief and mourning, as you feel the loss that comes with placing your child with an adoptive family. After all, your child will be of a different race than their adoptive family, which can bring about feelings of jealousy and over-protectiveness, especially if you disagree with the adoptive parents on some of their choices. However, it is important to keep in mind that your child’s adoptive family will provide for him or her with love, care and support no matter what. Though their culture may be different, your child will grow up happy, healthy and safe.
- How the Child may Feel about an Open Transracial Adoption
Your child will be growing up in a transracial household with a culture different from their own. This can be positive, as it can shape him or her to understand that the world has various races, ethnicities and cultures in it. They can also become more open-minded and accepting of those who are different from them.
Open Adoption in a Transracial Adoption
Open transracial adoptions can be very positive for you, your child and the adoptive parents for many different reasons. It can remind your child of their birth culture as they learn about the culture of their adoptive family, shaping them into a more well-rounded and tolerant human being. It can also be a positive opportunity for you to watch your child grow, while establishing a strong and healthy connection with the adoptive parents.
If you are a birth mother in Kansas considering transracial adoption and you have questions or need extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out to Adoption Choices of Kansas. We are here to help you have a positive, empowering and confident adoption journey.
Meet the Author: Tatiana is a graduate of Saint Mary’s College of California where she pursued a degree in Business with a concentration in Marketing. She first discovered her passion for journalism in high school when she joined Yearbook, allowing her to interview others and learn their intricacies, ultimately giving them a voice. Her empathetic nature motivates her to write about others and be interested in details of each individual and their story.
Tatiana’s passion for writing deepened when she took a college journalism class, which allowed her to write various types of content consisting of Feature Story, Review, and Profile pieces. She went on to hone her writing and marketing skills through her position as a Marketing Associate at the Lesher Arts Center in Walnut Creek, CA, where she managed social media content and advertising assets. In her free time, Tatiana enjoys writing poetry and her thoughts about philosophy. She explores her creative and musical side through instruments, singing, and nature.