Pros and Cons of Adoption for a Birth Mother
An unplanned or unwanted pregnancy comes with a lot of challenges. If you’re looking into adoption, you probably have a lot of questions and concerns. Fortunately, Adoption Choices of Kansas is here to help you work through the list of pros and cons of adoption for a birth mother. Deciding on whether or not you should put your baby up for adoption is a weighty decision, and there’s no right answer. At the end of the day, it’s entirely up to you. Adoption is a permanent choice, and once you relinquish your parental rights, it’s up to the adoptive parents and post-placement agreements as to how much contact you have with the baby.
If you’re struggling with weighing both sides equally, we’ve got you covered. Even though we are an adoption agency, we want to make sure you know both sides before deciding.
Pros of Adoption for a Birth Mother
There are a lot of pros of adoption for a birth mother, and most articles online will probably skew in favor of adoption. Not only are there some sweet perks as a birth mother choosing adoption, but it might also just be the best option for you in your life right now.
- You’re Giving the Baby the Best Opportunity for a Good Life
If you’re currently in a less-than-ideal situation, you may not want to bring a baby into that. Not being a place in your life where you can or want to have a baby around, adoption is a great option. Babies are a big undertaking. They take up a lot of time and money, and they’re an 18+ year commitment. When you choose adoption, you don’t have to put your life on hold or compromise what you want. Your baby gets to live a full life with a loving adoptive family, and you get to pursue an education, a career, travel plans, or just living a child-free life.
- You’re Taken Care of During Pregnancy
If you’re worried about your situation during pregnancy, you can rest easy when you’re working with an adoption agency like Adoption Choices of Kansas. One of the great pros of adoption for a birth mother is being almost 100% taken care of. We make sure you can get the medical care, support, and financial assistance you need. We even help you find and afford housing to feel safe and taken care of, even post placement.
- You have the Option to Stay Connected
If you’re worried about not having contact and checking in on the baby, open adoption allows you to be as involved as you want to. You have the option to communicate with the adoptive parents for updates openly and know that the baby is living their best life.
- You get the Option to Pick the Parents
If you’re concerned about the type of people you’ll be placing your baby with, not only do we do complete background checks of every prospective adoptive family, but you also get full control of picking one out. We’ll work with you to choose the best adoptive family for your baby, and you’ll never have to settle. You can even decide to meet or have phone calls with them before the baby is born to help put your mind at ease.
Cons of Adoption for a Birth Mother
Choosing adoption isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. As with anything, there are downsides. Depending on your situation, you may experience different cons of adoption as a birth mother, but these are some of the most common.
- Dealing With Grief and Loss
Birth mothers who put their babies up for adoption often experience a lot of emotions throughout the adoption journey, and especially post-placement. Feelings of grief and loss are natural and can be hard to work through and process. In an open adoption, it might be even harder to find closure and deal with the loss of someone who is still around and still in your life. If mental health is an area that you already struggle with, this is something to take into consideration. You may need additional support, therapy, or medications to cope.
- Adoption is a Hard Choice and is Followed by a lot More Hard Choices
Just choosing adoption is hard enough. There are a lot of mental hurdles just to make the initial decision. Adoption type, contact with the adoptive parents and baby, and choosing the adoptive family are just a few choices you encounter. The decisions you make not only impact you, but also your baby and a potential adoptive family. It’s a heavy weight to bear.
- There is No “Right” Answer
There’s no answer sheet at the back of the book, and there’s no phone-a-friend option. No one can tell you what the best option for you is. Like many tough decisions in life, there’s no one right answer, and there are no walkthroughs or speed runs. You have to consider your options and make a choice based on your best judgment. Talking with friends or family can help, but in the end, it’s up to you.
- Push Back from Family and Friends
Unfortunately, when life gets rough, that’s when you learn who is really in your corner for better or worse. If you decide on adoption, you may lose friends, upset family members, and incite many arguments and why questions. Losing part of your support system is a real concern and can be one of the biggest cons of adoption for a birth mother.
Pros and Cons of Adoption for a Birth Mother
No matter what you pick, there will be good things and bad things that come from it. There are a lot of pros and cons of adoption for a birth mother to consider. The only thing you can do is look carefully at your life and what makes sense for you. Others can give their input; but, at the end of the day, they aren’t you. You are entitled to your free will and make educated and informed decisions. Adoption is a beautiful thing, but it’s not right for everyone.
Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years’ experience as a freelance writer, and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games.
As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”