Putting my Baby Up for Adoption in Kansas: How to Choose the Right Adoptive Family
By choosing adoption, you’ve already made a lot of tough decisions. One of the most challenging and significant choices you have to make is picking a family for your baby. Since you are unfortunately unable to parent them yourself, it can feel impossible to find a family that will love and raises them as you would. While making your adoption plan, it is important to think hard about the type of people you want to place your baby with. We understand that you won’t settle for anything less than perfect, as you shouldn’t. That’s why Adoption Choices of Kansas has a rigorous background and medical checks to ensure our portfolios of prospective adoptive parents are the best of the best. You can rest easy knowing your baby is safe, no matter which family you pick. When you work with one of the adoption agencies in Kansas, like us, you and your baby are always in good hands. We know that trying to choose your baby’s future parents is no easy task. It can be highly stressful, and the decision holds a lot of weight. But how do you choose the right adoptive family for your baby? If you’re unsure where to start, we’ve got you covered.
Things to Consider When Choosing an Adoptive Family
Everyone will have specific things they are or aren’t looking for in the right adoptive family. Things like religion and values matter more to some and not to others. Don’t get caught up in what you think you should be looking for. You are a mother, and only you know what’s best for your baby. What do you want and what is important to you?
Religion and Values
Religion isn’t important to everyone, but if it’s important to you that your baby isn’t raised in a spiritual background, but this one on your list. If you were raised in a particular religion, there’s nothing wrong with wanting that for your baby as well. Spirituality is very fundamental for a lot of people. On the other side of the coin, if you don’t have any attachment to a particular religion and don’t want your baby raised in a religious household, that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to voice what’s important to you. Keep in mind, some adoption agencies will only work with adoptive parents with a particular belief system.
Parenting Styles and Priorities
The way a child is raised and the opportunities available to them play a significant role in the birth mother’s decisions when undergoing the adoption process. If you grew up in a very strict household with harsh rules, you might know that’s not what you want for your child. Since you can’t raise them yourself, why not look at parents that share interests and priorities to pass on? Interests in reading and books or other creative activities, or more sports-minded and athletic are just a few examples.
You may also want to look at parents with access to higher education and opportunities. A child whose parents have a four-year degree is more likely to follow suit.
Siblings and Other Family
This is another instance where looking at your own childhood could help. If growing up in a house with older or younger siblings was a great experience, you probably want that for your child as well. If you were an only child and spent your time wishing for a sibling and asking Santa for a little brother or sister, maybe seek a family with other children. You can pick from families with kids, plan to have more kids, or only want one. You can also choose families that have close grandparents. If you have fond memories of spending time with your grandparents, you probably want that for your child as well.
Red Flags and Non-negotiables
There will always be things that we consider to be “red flags” or nonnegotiable aspects. Consider what some of those might be. Certain religious beliefs, backgrounds, etc., are valid reasons to pass on a family. Just as there are things you know you don’t want, there will be specific things you have to have. Non-negotiable. Don’t feel silly or unreasonable for your particular wants or needs in an adoptive family. You grew this human inside of you for nine months; you deserve as much say as you want in where they go.
What Does The “Right” Adoptive Family Look Like to You?
It doesn’t matter if you have a laundry list of things you’re looking for; we’ll find a great family. If you want a family with similar physical features as you, we can do that. If you want them to be from the same ethnic background as you, we can do that too. The more specific you get, the smaller the pool to choose from, but don’t let that stop you from getting exactly what you want. We want you to feel at peace with the family you choose. Because of this, we believe you shouldn’t have to settle. Adoption Choices of Kansas will work to be sure you are happy and comfortable with your decision.
Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years of experience as a freelance writer and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games.
As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”