Reasons Kansas Birth Mothers Choose Closed Adoption
Adoption is a choice that isn’t right for everyone. Just as adoption isn’t for everyone, no one type of adoption will work for everyone. You are unique and have different wants and needs in an adoption plan. If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, it’s essential to know and understand all of your options thoroughly. Making decisions for your adoption can feel like you’re in a time crunch, but it is still essential to take your time, consider all options, and ask all questions. It can feel intimidating and isolating, but you are not alone.
Adoption Choices of Kansas can help you navigate the different types of adoption and choose the one that best suits you. While some adoption agencies no longer offer closed adoption as an option, we understand that there are a multitude of reasons birth mothers choose closed adoption. This is why we provide you with unbiased resources so you can make your own informed decisions.
What is Closed Adoption?
Closed adoption is a type of adoption in which identifying information is not shared between the birth mother and adoptive family. Full names, phone numbers, and addresses are considered private information and typically sealed away. Non-identifying information like medical records can be shared with the adoption agency and passed on to the family. The child can access the sealed records when they are of legal age, typically 18; however, it can be difficult, varying by state.
Closed adoption was once the only option for women facing an unplanned pregnancy and a way of saving face for unwed mothers. Today, closed adoptions only make up about 5% of all adoptions in the U.S. and are utilized only in critical or necessary situations. However, you do not need to be in a particular situation or match specific criteria to choose a closed adoption.
Reasons Why Birth Mothers Choose Closed Adoption:
You’ll have your own reasons for why you chose one adoption type and not another. There are many reasons why birth mothers choose a closed adoption, and these are just a few. Every birth mother has her reasons for selecting the adoption type she did, and knowing some of those reasons may help you. Understanding the perspective of others in your situation can be a fantastic guiding light.
Sense of Closure
Part of the adoption journey is dealing with the emotional aftermath. Everyone has different ways of grieving. How you heal and move forward will not be the same as someone else. Closed adoption allows some people to come to a place of closure more easily. It provides permanence, so there’s no worrying about connecting or reaching out in the future.
Privacy and Confidentiality
For various reasons, a pregnant woman considering adoption may need a certain level of privacy. A closed adoption prevents adoptive family members from locating you and making unwanted contact. It also allows you to keep your adoption private from abusive or unsupportive people in your life.
Additionally, not everyone is in a safe and supportive situation where they can openly share their adoption. For some birth mothers, especially those who are teenagers or younger, closed adoption reduces the fear of having to explain and defend your decision—avoiding confrontation with family, friends, and peers.
At the risk of sounding cold, a closed adoption does require little to no effort. The adoption agency will choose the adoptive daily for you, and there’s no need to maintain contact for form relationships. This does not make it the easier or lazy option. Putting your baby up for adoption is not something that most people are excited to do. It’s still a hard process and emotionally taxing.
How Could a Closed Adoption Work for You?
No matter the reason for choosing a closed adoption, it’s no less valid than someone who chose open or semi-open adoption. Your selflessness and magnitude of your gift of life to a hopeful family do not diminish based on the type of adoption you decide. Each type of adoption is meant to provide pregnant women options that will best suit their needs, wants, and desires. Choosing an adoption type that works best for you isn’t always easy, especially if it’s not the popular option. Our knowledgeable counselors at Adoption Choices of Kansas can give you helpful insight and information, but only you know what’s best for you at the end of the day. It could be a list of 12 reasons or two. If a closed adoption fits and it’s what you know you want, you don’t have to validate that.
Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years’ experience as a freelance writer, and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games.
As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”