Three Ways to Bond with Your Child’s Adoptive Father
The relationship that is built between you and your child is very special and important. Without that bond, it can be difficult to realize how much you care about your child. Although June, the month for dads is over…. we still want to highlight ways to bond with your child’s adoptive father, no matter what personal circumstances you two may have. You should remain close with your child’s adoptive father for any updates and to be aware of anything happening in your child’s life — like an exciting moment or milestone. Thus, it’s important to establish a healthy relationship with your child’s adoptive father throughout your adoption journey.
Bonds are essential in the adoption process, and we know that your child will be grateful for the efforts you and their adoptive father make as he or she grows older. Not only will it help strengthen their own relationship with him, but it will also have a positive impact throughout their life.
Ways to Bond with Your Child’s Adoptive Father
- Get to know him. You chose your adoptive father for a reason, and it would be good to express that to him. There are many different ways to get to know him, the top options being either in-person or virtually. Consult with your adoption caseworker to see what in-person ways there are, whether at the agency or at a nearby coffee shop. If travel is needed, discuss a potential halfway point. This will help both of you establish a relationship and ensure a smoother adoption process, and build confidence in each other moving forward.
In the case of a global pandemic, virtual may be best and the only way for you to connect until it’s ok to venture out in-person. Because we live in a world of technology, your opportunities to meet with each other are endless. You can talk on ZOOM, FaceTime, Skype, etc. You could also talk via social media — through Facebook Messenger or Twitter — or you could text back and forth. Getting to know your child’s adoptive father is a terrific way to begin your adoption process. It can make you feel more comfortable when it comes time to sign paperwork and provide you with the peace of mind that you made the right decision for your baby..
- Improve your communication with him. Once you’ve had a conversation or two with your child’s adoptive father, it’s important to keep communicating. There are many different types of contact methods listed above and we hope that these help as you continue to grow your relationship with him.. Improving communication can go a long way and lead to a strong relationship in the future. If you have an open adoption agreement, this could include: increasing visits with your child, eating meals with him and his partner or spouse, or joining in on family traditions. But, best of all, your bond will continue to grow stronger.
Seeing that you are improving communication with his or her adoptive father will show your child that you care and teach them that they can trust you. It will also help them understand your decision to place them for adoption. With your child’s adoptive father, it will show him that you are truly invested in seeing your child happy and healthy.
If you are unsure of how to communicate, or have anxiety in starting a conversation, please consult with your adoption caseworker. Know that it’s entirely natural to feel nervous about meeting the adoptive parent who will raise your child. Sometimes, it takes time to warm up to someone, and that’s completely ok. We are here to support you and help ensure that you have the best possible connection with your child’s adoptive father.
- Spend more time with him. This option is obviously best if you already know your child’s adoptive father. Yet, it’s still important that you spend more time with him before the adoption is finalized. Use this time to learn more about his background. His interests. Hobbies. Career. After all, he will be raising your child, so it would be good to know as much about him as you can.
If you need some inspiration, refer back to his adoptive parent profile book. Ask for further details that were briefly mentioned. Learn about his childhood. The reasons why he wants to be a father, and what adoption means to him. All of this will benefit both of you as you move forward with the adoption process, and after it has been finalized.
Bonding with Your Child’s Adoptive Father
We believe that strong, healthy relationships are vital to your adoption journey, which includes ways to bond with your child’s adoptive father. You chose him for a reason, but if you are not making an effort to get to know him, how will you know who he really is? The bond that he and your child will share is not only important, but it is also special.
With a good connection, comes trust. With trust, comes love for each other. As they grow, your child will see that you two are on good terms, which will mean the world to them. The more you get to know your child’s adoptive father, the more you’ll see that he genuinely cares about your child and wants him or her to live their best life. Remember to reach out to us if you need any assistance on communication strategies. The bond between a birth mother and adoptive father is one that we want you to have forever, and we hope that it will be one that you will cherish for the rest of your life.
Meet the Author: Jason Legasse is a rising senior English major studying at Siena College in Loudonville, New York. He hails from the Albany, New York area, but has plans to relocate to sunny Venice, Florida with his mom come Fall. After completing his bachelor’s degree, Jason plans to study General Special Education at Meredith College, where he will earn a Master’s degree and use that to teach middle school Special Education.
Jason is a self-proclaimed introvert with Asperger’s who really enjoys writing. He has a huge passion for helping others, specifically those with disabilities. He is very excited to be working with Adoption Choices over the summer, and looks forward to learning more about the adoption process!