Unwrapping Holiday Joy and Grief in Adoption (for birth parents)
By Syd Sukalski
“Considering adoption – I can’t take care of my baby”. You’ve made this google search. You’ve decided on adoption. We understand. It’s a difficult decision, and you feel the grief that many birth mothers feel after placing their child for adoption. This grief can feel even more pronounced if you place your child for adoption during the holidays.
The holidays can be difficult for everybody, especially if you are feeling some of the grief that so often comes along with placing your child for adoption. This feeling might manifest even more than usual around the holidays because of the emphasis on the family unit. But don’t worry. In this article, we’ll talk about a couple of ways you can banish those holiday blues.
Adoption Choices of Kansas Adoption Agencies
Adoption Choices of Kansas is a private adoption agency that wants to help you with your adoption process. We are a responsive and trusting agency to work with. All of our birth mothers are treated with respect and dignity. Staff at Adoption Choices of Kansas comes to meet you. Anywhere you live in the state, we will schedule a meeting with you and see you there. If you are considering adoption in Kansas, want help with your adoption plan, or are wondering how adoption works, check out our adoption agencies near you!
Adoption Support During the Holidays in Kansas
Our adoption center, Adoption Choices of Kansas helps the mom with various resources. One of these resources is our counseling and support center. We offer counseling and support groups to our birth mothers. Even during the holidays, we want to help!
There might be some significant grief around the holidays due to the separation from your birth child. It might feel like nobody around you understands what you’re going through. We do! Helping you with your grief is one of our goals. We are here to talk with you or connect you with other grieving birth mothers. Support groups allow you to talk with people who truly understand what you’re going through.
Sharing Your Holiday Traditions with Your Birth Child and Their Adoptive Family
Open adoption? If your adoption plan consists of open adoption, you might consider sharing some of your family holiday traditions. This experience can be a great way to create a warm environment between you and your birth child’s family. It could also help you get rid of some of those holiday blues. You might consider asking to decorate a Christmas tree together, using ornaments from both of your collections to create a tree for your combined family.
Maybe you love to drive around and look at the holiday lights, and you want to share this adoration with your birth child. Bake Christmas cookies, build a gingerbread house, or watch your favorite holiday movies! You can create a tradition with your birth child and their family so you always have something to connect with during the holidays.
Are you a Birth Parent? Be Kind to Yourself This Holiday Season!
The adoption process and the holiday season can be challenging but remember to be kind to yourself. One of the factors which can contribute to grief after placing your child for adoption is a sense of failure or “giving up,” but you haven’t given up anything! You have not failed!
Phrases like “putting my child up for adoption,” “adopt out my baby,” and “giving my baby up for adoption” can all have negative connotations. But you have given a wonderful gift this holiday season! You spent time and energy on an adoption plan for your birth child. A family has been created. Generous and loving are words to describe you. You have done something noble and brave so give yourself the gift of kindness this holiday season.
Of course, we know this can be easier said than done, so if you’re unwrapping a big box of grief this holiday season, please reach out to us. We offer counseling and support groups to all birth parents.
Private Adoption in Kansas
Private adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Kansas can help across the state, and we want to help you with your Kansas adoption plan. Remember: choosing adoption is not giving up. If you need unplanned pregnancy help now, Adoption Choices of Kansas serves birth parents statewide and beyond. We can help with teen pregnancy, financial assistance, difficult situations, and more. Please call us or text us to learn more! Call Us at 877-903-4488 or Text Us at 316-209-2071.