Ways to Deal with Adoptive Parents Who May Not Love or Accept My Child
As a birth mother, you may feel anxious surrounding your Kansas adoption process. You have gone through so much with your adoption process and to finally have your adoption finalized, only to encounter one unexpected problem you might not have thought about; what happens if The birth parents do not love or accept my child? This unforeseen issue may plague your mind, but don’t worry, at Adoption Choices of Kansas, we are here to let you know that if this happens, there are ways to help you and the birth father ensure that your baby is well taken care of and loved. As a birth mother, our Kansas adoption caseworkers will help you communicate to your child’s prospective adoptive parents to help find the right home for your child even if the match fails between you, your child, and their potential adoptive parents. You are never alone! We will hold your hand and help you through this. At our local Kansas adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Kansas, we have listed the three solutions for adoptive parents who may have trouble accepting their child as their own. You can suggest to them to help your child find their true parents and a home.
4 Ways Adoption Choices Help Birth Mothers Find New Homes for Their Baby
- Rehoming a Child
Placing a child up for adoption can be draining. Suddenly, you find yourself back to the beginning of your adoption process because your child’s potential adoptive parents decided to dissolve the child’s adoption- end legal guardianship- means that they may have rehomed the child for various reasons. Rehoming the child means— placing the child in a new home under the care of another adoptive family or adoptive individual and not being that child’s “parents” anymore. If you are a birth mother, who has a couple considering this, maybe make them write a list to be sure they think long and hard about why they are not suitable for your baby and who they believe will make the right parent or parents.
- Specialized Mental Health Home
As your birth grows up, they may experience feelings of being lost and, in turn, act out, for example, having violent tantrums. If these behaviors become too much for the adoptive parents, they may consider in-adopting your child. If this happens, locating your local Kansas special needs home that may help lessen these problems might be helpful by teaching your child to stay, work through, and develop the tools to help them understand their emotions and their adoption journey. In addition, working with your adoption caseworker to locate counseling and therapy resources may help your child’s behavior improve and be the solution so that you can pick a family ready and willing to give a little care to your child.
3.Temporary Adoption Housing
Temporary adoptive housing can range from foster care homes, group homes, or in some cases, the home of your caseworker. These types of homes or facilities usually have your child’s best interest at heart and will provide them with shelter, food, clothing. As a birth mother, you may want to suggest this to your child’s adoptive parents as a solution if they are feeling lost and don’t know what to do regarding the adoptive child. This way, your child can still have all the necessities they will need and thrive while gaining the tools they need to adjust to potential new adoptive parents and a new home.
How to Deal When the Adoptive Parents Do Not Acceptance My Child
Going through this unplanned situation in your adoption journey, you feel angry and heartbroken. The potential adoptive parents could have shared their hesitations about wanting to back out of the adoption earlier in your pregnancy; however, as you are going through this process, focusing on finding new adoptive parents for your child is the main priority. Checking and asking questions to your adoption caseworker like:
- Are these adoptive parents mentally and emotionally ready to adopt my baby?
- Do they feel rushed in their decision to choose adoption?
- What was the reason they chose the option of adoption?
Questions like these may help you pick and choose your child’s adoptive family based on their answers to ensure they are emotionally and mentally ready to become parents of a child. At our adoption agency in Kansas, Adoption Choices of Kansas, we will ensure that you prepare with these questions and others to ensure that your child will gain the love and care they deserve when they gain their adoptive family.
Advice to Birth Mothers When Looking for Adoptive Parents
Being a birth mother means doing what is best for your child in many forms, and searching and finding a new adoptive family that is the right fit for your child is such a big step in your adoption process. We at Adoption Choices of Kansas will assist you in reading through every adoption family portfolio and meet with each family to ask the previously stated questions to let you know what qualities you are looking for in your child’s family. This may ensure that the adoptive family is ready for you and your child.
Meet the Author: Samara Wileyis a published author of poetry, essays, and an environmental children’s storybook called, Waiting for the Water Fairy. She graduated from Benedictine University in 2018 with a double Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French.She has been published in three small poetry anthologies one was called Talented.
Her other writing accomplishments include: winning a high school poetry competition and $2500 for her high school, having two out of her five novels be considered for publication, and writing movie critic reviews for her university’s newsletter.
Although she has Cerebral Palsy and has had a turbulent childhood, Samara puts these small specs of herself into her writing to personally connect with her audience. She prides herself on pushing the boundaries in her writing and in her personal life with everything she does. Samara writes with her heart and a voice of compassion and loves to pull from her top passions in life.
She currently lives in Yorkville, Illinois with her mom and two sisters.