For many birth mothers, there are a lot of considerations to be made when looking for an adoptive parent/parents. Often, you want to find a family who shares similar values, and will give your child the life that you would want them to have. Searching for the perfect adoptive family can provide a sense of comfort for birth mothers, which can help them to feel more confident in their decision. There are many different things that birth mothers may look for in an adoptive family including lifestyle, values, family dynamics, and more. Below are a list of some things to consider when deciding on an adoptive family.
- Values – Everyone has different values whether they be based on a religious or spiritual tradition, political ideology, education, or family upbringing. Naturally, you might want your child to be raised in a way that stays true to your own personal beliefs. Finding an adoptive family that also holds these values will be an important factor in considering where to place your child.
- Relationship – Birth parents may also consider the type of family dynamic they want for their child. Do they want their child to be raised in a traditional two parent home? Do they want their child to be raised by a single-mother who wants a child of her own? Do they think it would be best for their child to be raised by an LGBTQ couple wishing to start a family? If the prospective family has children already, do you want your child to have siblings? There are many different types of family structures and it is important for a birth mother to decide on the perfect family dynamic for her child.
- Everyday life – This is another important consideration for birth mothers. Does the adoptive family have an active lifestyle? Do they travel frequently for work? What kinds of activities or hobbies do they have? A birth mother will want to know about the lifestyle of the prospective parents to see if this is the type of environment that they want their child to live in. Lifestyle is an important way for birth parents to see if their child would fit in this dynamic.
- Distance – For some birth parents, distance may have a greater or lesser impact on the decision. Some birth parents might want to find adoptive parents within a certain radius, so that they can still be active in their child’s life. Others, may only want to communicate with their child by letters, social media, or on the phone, so distance may be less of a factor. The birth mother has a right to decide this for her child.
- Small Details – A birth mother might even just find meaning in the small things. Maybe, the adoptive mother plays the piano and it reminds the birth mother of her own mother. Maybe, the family dog reminds her of her own dog. Whatever the connection, sometimes it is the little things that make a birth mother feel comfortable with a certain family.
Ultimately, searching for a prospective parent can be difficult. However, if you are able to determine the things you want for your child, it can help make the process easier! Check out our waiting families at Adoption Choices of Kansas!
