What You Should Know about Choosing Closed Adoption
The great thing about adoption is that you have options for your needs and wants in today’s world. Adoption is not a one-size-fits-all situation and can’t have a one-size-fits-all answer. Everyone’s life, situation, goals, and desires are different. If you’ve decided that adoption is best for your baby, you probably already know that having a baby doesn’t fit into your life, but you still want to give them a chance at life. There’s no correct type of adoption, and it entirely depends on you.
Adoption Choices of Kansas is here for you to answer any lingering questions and help you work through your pro/con list of adoption types. If you’re thinking of choosing closed adoption, you shouldn’t feel ashamed or isolated. We work with mothers from all walks of life, and sometimes, an open or semi-open adoption just isn’t in the cards. As an adoption agency, we don’t want to coerce you into any decisions; we only want to present you with all of the information and answers you need to make educated decisions in your adoption journey.
What is a Closed Adoption?
Closed adoption is one of the three types of adoption (open, closed, and semi-open). In a closed adoption, generally speaking, the birth parents and the adoptive parents have no contact. Identifying information, like last names and personal contact information, typically remains confidential.
The History of Closed Adoption
Closed adoptions were actually the first and only type of adoption for a long time. Adoption has technically been around forever, but its history can be tracked as early as the 1850s. It wasn’t until the 1970s that open adoption became common, and now, around 5% of adoptions are closed.
The social stigma was a big reason behind the popularity of closed adoptions for many years. That idea is still around today, but the reality is that many women choose a closed adoption because it’s truly what is best for them and their baby.
Closed Adoption and Sealed Records
Closed adoption is not the same thing as sealed records, though both have to do with contact and access to information post placement. Sealed records are the legal documents surrounding the birth and placement that are closed up once the adoption is finalized in court. Neither the birth mother, adoptive parents or child can have access to these records until the child becomes of legal age.
Note: In any adoption, any agreements made between adoptive and birth parents are only in force until the child becomes of legal age. Typically, in most states, the legal age of being able to make decisions on their own is 18, but it can vary.
The Process of a Closed Adoption
The adoption process may look slightly different with a closed adoption, but some steps are the same. Once you contact us and begin your adoption journey, we’ll set up an appointment with you and your birth parent counselor. Your adoption counselor will, then, work with you to find a doctor and get any additional assistance you may need.
- Choosing an Adoptive Family
For privacy and personal purposes, Adoption Choices of Kansas will usually choose the adoptive family for your baby. Be sure to talk with your birth parent counselor to see if you have other options.
- Birth Plan and Delivery
Your birth parent counselor will help you beforehand to make a hospital birth plan. You decide who you want with you during delivery, pain medication preferences, if you want to see your baby, etc.
After birth, your counselor will work with you in the following months as you’re dealing with grief, closure, and the hundreds of other emotions that come with not just a closed adoption, but adoption and giving birth in general. No matter the type, adoption is not a walk in the park, and we’re here for you for every step as you need us.
Why it’s Okay to Choose Closed Adoption
Closed adoption isn’t for everyone, and it’s important to weigh your options. The bottom line is that you get to decide the type of adoption that’s best for you. Many people who choose adoption have turmoil within their friends and family, and a closed adoption can worsen that. But remember — no decision you make will please everyone, and that’s true of anything in life.
If you believe that closed adoption best serves you, your baby, and the adoptive parents, then there is zero shame in that. If you let others’ opinions sway your decision, you may have more regrets. You can feel confident in choosing closed adoption, knowing it’s what is right for you, and that it’s an okay choice to make.
Meet the Author: Michelle Brugioni is a practiced, well-versed college-educated writer and avid coffee drinker. She has ten years’ experience as a freelance writer, and has written for an alarmingly wide range of clients and publications. She has written on topics like: life science, biopharmaceutical company acquisitions, dealing with anxiety, and creative drinking games.
As a fearless writer and masterful researcher, each time Michelle is approached with the question, “Can you write this?” she responds confidently with, “When do you need it?”